Ending My Affliction

[Verse]
Didn't prepare, didn't get ready for the future
Got  stabbed right in my back by the butcher
Used  to brag say racks, they were stacked in the back
That I would attack rappers who were ever talking crap
That I kept on talking smack, and I didn't follow through
And  it's hard to make rap when nobody follows you
Except  the people that you know, exempt, you'll never have a show
Unkempt hair is all you know, preemptive failure is what shows
Out  from your eyes, when you rap, you're despised
You're so chastised by yourself with the lies
That you keep telling embellishing reality and relishing
In the views you got on one video supposedly telling about
Themes  and topics and dreams in public
How I'm disgusted when I say 'green'
"I love it" is what I used to say
For my mistakes I pay when I burn the past
And I love green today for a different reason
A different green
A different meaning pervading my mind like a ray of sunlight
Through the curtains, writing this is still hurting
Truth is what is spurring, me to keep on going
Teaching you and showing off my story sewing
A narrative because of crumpled up words keep on coming and crowing
Out of my mouth, and I take the South route
And I do descend down into deep dark depths
With a frown, my brown hair turns foul
With a scowl on my face, it's a myth that we brace
Breath now just tastes like a rift that stayed
As a subpar way for me to not express myself
I have my own express permission to reinvent myself and delve
Into the deep dark depths of this eccentric elf