Edward Cullen vs Dracula

Cullen:
What do we have here? A vampire? Pshht! Can’t be
Can you even climb trees or run at super speeds?
I’m a Cullen, which means that I’m forever ruthless
Why the face Crapula? You’re looking pretty clueless
Heh, I may sparkle but at least I can go in the light!
So don’t bother preparing for a battle with this creature of the night
Prepare for a stake to the heart like with your “buddy” Jon Harker
I’ll send you to Transylvania as the New Moon makes this battle darker

Dracula:
The fuck am I doing, facing against this sparkly asswipe?
The superior nosferatu, DRACULA’s the name and I don’t need light!
You, a creature of the night? Bitch please, what a joke!
Look deep into my flaming eyes and see what you’ve provoked!
I’m the legendary vampire! No tale truly portrays me!
Whereas you were created by a teen’s necrophilic fantasies
You can’t scare me! Go run back to Fifty Shades of Gray
Or enter into my castle and never see the light of day!

Cullen:
Pfft, You can’t kill me, I’m the definition of invincible!
Team Edward forever, fucker! I’m immortal! Eternal!
*Edward is stabbed by Buffy*

Buffy:
Let me silence up this bilge bat and show this Drac a better brawler
Buffy Summers! Vampire Slayer, Cheerleader and motherfucking baller
You call yourself a vampire? I think you’re more of a tampon!
After we’re done here, you’ll be seeing red! That’s something for you to suck on!
I’ll burn you with a cross on fire and this can of hairspray
Call me a vampire predator because bitch, you’re my prey
I’m gonna stab you so fast, you don’t even have time to think and
Then I’ll finish your ass better than the old Abraham Lincoln

Dracula:
According to this chick, I’m not worthy to be called a vampire
Have you even seen the internet? I won the fucking Empire!
I’ll drain your blood dry and you can call me Over Powered as fuck
I can’t even begin to comprehend how much skill you lack
I can smell your period cramps, so don’t even try hiding!
I’ll bash your door down fast, call me Johnny from the Shining
You see this coat, these boots and these motherfucking fangs!?
I have more than enough fashion sense to beat your whole gang

Buffy:
The stakes are real high, and your victory isn't likely
So come on battyboy, why don't you just try to bite me?
Remember that Buffy Summers, bitch, is one buff slayer!
Holy shit, man, you’re finished. Time to go say your prayers