Eddy Appetite’s House of Definitely Legal Oddities

[Solemn Brigham & Samples]
Ladies and gentlemen, a show to ratify your curiosity
Before I tell you anymore, I'm going to show you the greatest things your eyes have ever beheld (in the world)
Gather, gather, gather
Come one, come all
We got a hell of a hall for you tonight, at least I hope so
I came from far away, I heard this town needed a little entertainment tonight
And I came to give you what you need
I promise the lights won't get cut off this time, baby
We got three-feet tall elephants in this thang
We got lions with no mane in this thang
We got single-file lines of small people and tall people
You know I got The Bearded Lady
She just took a shave the other night, but uh, it's still a sight to see
And I got a little homie with a tail
I got the tail from my dog, but y'know, it's still a sight to see
And me myself, I'm a hell of a phenomenon
I deserve all y'all change
And I might just change ya mainframe
Yeah, please help me sell some tickets, man
Please come here, man
The great predictor looks in the future and yes, I see
What are you?
What am I? Watch me and see