Dying

I always see myself dying
A void that I can't bring myself back from the edge of
Lying alone in my apartment waiting to be found
Imagining a car crash, but it'll probably be a heart attack
And sometimes I wish that I could shoot up
And slowly disappear

I see myself fading out
Crushing disappointment of how
I've wasted a quarter of a century
Worried about how much time I've been wasting
Imagine something greater than just being
A waiter or a failure
And everyone since I was three
Has expected only the best of me

Stop me if you think I'm all wrong
Stay here if you could just lie to me through the night
Tell me I'm not doing it wrong
Even when I'm not doing anything right

I am child thrown in the deep end and I can't swim
I swear I'm a liar hanging on every word you lament
I think I'm a coward -- I wasted a year in your embrace
I'll stick my head in a microwave
To try and rid myself of the taste