This spoken-word rant was recorded by musician Dan Deacon as a stream-of-consciousness ramble in character as a Long Islander whilst watching television with the sound off, his changing of the channels explaining the constant shift in topic and overall absurdity of the track.
Years after releasing...
What does this guy think he is, an Indian? What is he, a goddamn asshole? What the fuck is he doin’?
Not ever, no way
Now he’s Johnny Hammersticks. Hammerin' away like he’s freakin’ Tommy Noble, the hell’s he doin’?
Thinks he’s... thinks he's got it goin’ bossa nova, No way, no way…
What is this garbage?
What is this? Oh I’m king of the trees, I’m the tree-meister … I count on them. When sometimes I pry, I like to [?]
Yeah right …. yeeeah right
This guy’s a faggot. The guy’s some sort of faggot Indian in the teepee. Ooh, this guy thinks he’s Captain Knots? He thinks he’s Captain Tying Knots, when everyone needs some knots tied they go to him - BULL. SHIT. Bullshit
Aflkjg such a bitch, he thinks he’s Miss Sand (?), drinking out of cups…bein’ a bitch
How ‘bout her fist? How bout her fabulusk(?) bardt (?)
Tired of the little kid in the background fuckin’ goin’ craaazzzaayy
Who’s this guy? Mr. Balloons. Mr. Balloon Hands. No way. No way, get real. Like those things
Mr. Walk Way. Mr. Walk Down Me, I’m The Walk Way … lead me to the building - fuck you!
5, 6, 4, 3
Yeeaheh Right!
Here’s some stupid bitch. Who paid for that floor? Not me. No way!
Never payin’ for no floor ever again. Not ONCE, not NEVA! Nope -
Who’s chair is that? Who brought that goddamn chair here - that's not my chair. Not my chair, not my problem - that’s what I say
No way. Stupid dresses
Stupid flowers
Lighthouses rule. You don’t like the lighthouse, you suck!
What is this, Sea Horse Captain? What is this - Seahorse-Seashell party? Who didn’t invite me? Why didn’t I get invited?
Seahorse - Sea HELL. What is this? Get real. I’m in love with sea horses. I’m in love with ‘em. They’re so beautiful and cute - I’m in love with the seahorses. They’re fuckin’ unreal, I love them
They’re like all the clocks - I love them. I love seahorses. And I love lookin’ at ‘em
And I love SEA SHELLS. I love sea shell things. I love things with sea shells and seahorses on ‘em. Like blankets, and towels, and little bags. I love ‘em
Seahorses. For-eva