Drake vs. Eminem - What the Battle Would Sound Like

[Beat 1]

[Intro: Crank Lucas as Drake]
Oh man
Oh man, oh man
Not again, not again
Uh!

[Crank Lucas as Drake]
I didn't wanna do it but they comin' for me
I'm glad you stepped up 'cause Joey wasn't important to me
I might bet you 50 disses come record 'em for me
I might put you on the bench, Robert Horry, homie
Woah! You don't wanna make Drake crazy
I might have to take Hailie on a vaca-lie
It's funny I got rappers actin' just like children
When I'm the one they said was always in his feelings
I guess I see it clearer it was all a trap
And I don't slaughter houses I slaughter tracks
Ya own state got sewage in they faucet taps
I'm about to donate some water where yo bottles at?
Champagne Papi in this bitch, boy
Got my nigga gunnin' in this bitch, boy
I'ma have to use the feud as CD bait
I'ma drop the next diss on a Weezy tape
You don't wanna come for me, I'm on fire
I'm about to drop a song with Mariah
You gon' have to battle Nick before me
You could be the next contestant on that Wild 'N' Out screen Woah! All your old fans became Drizzy fans
Now everybody wanna be Drizzy mans
I'm runnin' shit so it pays to be friends with him
Ask Meek Mill, I already killed an Eminem
Marshall, whatcha doin'?
I said, "Marshall, whatcha doin'?"
I didn't wanna do it but they comin' for me
I'm glad you stepped up cause Joey wasn't important to me

[Beat 2]

[Crank Lucas as Eminem]
I'll go to Toronto and catch this lame at a Raptors Game
Bash his brains with a plastic cane and cut this bastard's veins
Fuck a gaseous sprain, I'm givin' him massive pain
Until this half a stain'll wish he never rapped with Wayne (haha!)
I feel like a Rap God (why?) cause I been a "piller" (oh!)
You're the worst female rapper out, no man can feel ya
Your verse is full of sentence fillers, I was sent to kill ya
Remind me who I'm battlin'? Drake or Quentin Miller?
You're so emotional, I made a threat you took it deeply
I can end your whole career and make it look so easy
Have you scared, all shook and queasy
Bein' Wheelchair Jimmy is the reason you got a push from Weezy!
All you rap about is failed relationships
Materialism, your position and those who were sleepin' on you
Cryin' over ex-girlfriends who was creepin' on you
You still ain't explained that guy who was peein' on you
You're a Backstreet Boy, I'll smack you with an open hand
You wanna be just like me, (why?) you're a token Stan
Don't get it confused, if you heard me say Aubrey was dope
Then it means I'm a smoke this Graham
All your album titles sound like suicide notes
And Views is the final one
Where you would fly over the ledge of the edge and make a splash of yourself
So since you wanna die so bad I'd be so happy to help

[Outro: Crank Lucas as Eminem]
Aubrey's goin' down
And Joey tried to warn you
I don't know why you're hurt
You rap like someone scorned you
You're so emotional
And all your songs are bitch made
And I don't need no shots
I'll kill you with my switchblade