Draining the Lizard on a Dead Gay Wizard

[Verse 1]
Dumbledore died a pretty long while ago
But his followers mourn to this day
A tragic event, we wish that he didn’t go
Then we later found out that he was gay
Well I was dicking around outside the castle grounds
And I found the beloved man’s grave
So to pay my respects I set some flowers out
And I watered them in my own special way

[Chorus 1]
I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
There’s a slight chance of rain for our headmaster today
I’m leaking the Schwartz upon the master of Hogwarts
And I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave

[Verse 2]
Dumbledore’s memory will be in our dreams
Well, we always knew that he was Number One
And though I’m washing those memories away in a stream
There are many good things that he’s done
If your day was a drought he’d always help you out
With a golden shine from within
He would come to your side at each catastro-pee
So you’re safe from the danger urine

[Chorus 2]
I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
The chamber of secrets sprung a small leak today
I’m making an ocean with a magical potion
And I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave

[Bridge]
This act I’m committing seems so perfect and fitting
And it feels so good to pour these feelings out
As he sits and decays I’m feeling pretty okay
Besides a shower’s one thing he’s gone too long without
From the land of the free to France where they say “oui, oui”
They say I’m doing something awful and wrong
But though a great flood of pee-ple might be pissed off at me
At least they’re not getting pissed on

[Chorus 3]
I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
I’m speaking in Parseltongue to whip out the snake
I’m whizzing the wand to make a magical pond
And I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave

[Chorus 4]
I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
I can hear Rowling bawling but I still won’t behave
I’m baptizing the phoenix using my full petrenis
And I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave

[Refrain]
Everybody!

[Chorus 5]
I’m draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
It’s the first wand unleashed on him since his dying day
Though I’m merely a Muggle, I can summon a puddle
And incase you were pee-occupied and didn’t hear me…
I’m pissing on Dumbledore’s grave