Downward

I try to forget we happened, I try to not think of you
But all my thoughts still take your shape and imitate the things you do
There’s shades of you inside the lake beneath a static gibbous moon
Can’t shake the stubborn memories from our romantic interludes

Can’t escape the melancholy as the spiral’s turning downward
It’s a bed of blooming orchids and a pyro burning flowers
It’s hours that turn to weeks, our dates replay in random loops
Upon the surface of these two vortexes gazing back at you

I’m just a fool who thought he was clever with plans in motion
Romantic notions, who would handle rejection and withstand corrosion
(but I’m a) gossamer web of canceled connections
Dismantled affection, (and you’re a) haunted house of mirrors with scrambled reflections

It’s a rampant infection of doubts, the clouds that veil my face
Shrouds of shadows that flit over me - a crown of pale light rays
It’s the inhale and the plunge below the memories I’m submerged in
It’s the nice view from a month ago, when everything was perfect

I try to forget we happened, try to think of something else
I tried to drown the entire thing inside a drink but nothing helps
It’s hell, affected mental health, I tried to tackle the feelings
Take a sledgehammer to your pedestal, but I can’t manage to swing it

(Cuz I was) infatuated with you, it’s that forks of lightning tingle
It’s that feeling of my heart exploding forth in brightened pixels
It’s the feeling of losing that feeling, feeling like I fucked it up
The thoughts evolved, they’re peeling off the ceiling tiles to run amok

Don’t hear the silver linings, it’s unbearable, it’s bullshit
Having you here right beside me is the only scenario I’m cool with
I don’t want to forget but I have to, I know I should just move on
Delete the socials, and our messages, then I’ll be good with you gone

Cuz I know that just because I felt it, that doesn’t mean it’s real
I know the reasons you told me, but not the ones you keep concealed
I got too comfortable with you beneath that motionless moon
I just hope as time oozes forward that I’ll get over it soon