Down on the Floor

Katherine Hepburn had a lead head of hair
So I pulled her lightly up my stairs
And I closed the door so we both were inside
I took her for a ride
I rubbed her gently on the thighs
And then I hear her coarsely sigh:
“There’s a monkey with a blackbelt in kung-fu
I helped him escape from the zoo
I took him home but he was in too deep
He had enormous debts and he couldn’t sleep
The drugs we took were very unique
We did coke off of he cover of Newsweek

Now I’m down, now I’m down, now I’m down
I’m down on the floor”

Marlene Dietrich had a copper groin
I smelted it down into very little coins
And I kissed her on her ruby lips
And I grasped her by her mahogany hips
She said, “Kinder, I love the way
You beat that monkey every day
You Errol Flynn, you escapain
That monkey creeps just like Saddam Hussein
That monkey, that monkey
That fucking monkey junkie
Well, he keeps all his knives in an oak wood trunkie
No I’m down, now I’m down, now I’m down
I’m down on the floor

Cary Grant had a hairy aunt
She was eating up old men like Robert Mitchum
I took Cary and Robbie way up to my lair
And I turned their legs into marble stairs
And I climbed them way up to that place where
That monkey dances every night
That monkey dances in his emerald tights
That monkey ain’t quite what he seems
Oh, no! My dear friends, that monkey is me!
I’m a monkey, I’m a monkey, I’m a juicy pewter monkey
I make all the film stars spunky
Now I’m with every A-list star
From the jungle, I have come far
Now the floor is the ceiling, plastic is glass
Monkey is the future, man is the past!
Now I’m down, now I’m down, now I’m down
I’m down on the floor