Douche and Turd

[We start at South Park Elementary during a pep-rally]

Cheerleaders: We are South Park green and white. Let's go cows, fight fight fight! Nobody can beat a cow, let's go, South Park!

Red: Hey, South Park! Do you have school spirit!

All: Moo!

Bebe: I think us Cows have the best school spirit. Huh, Mandy?

Mandy: Yeah! And South Park is REALLY gonna stick it to Littleton next week

Bebe: Let's bring out our school mascot and GET THIS PEP RALLY GOING!

[Someone in a cow suit comes out and waves at the children, he begins to dance]

Butters: It's Mooey! Mooey, wave to me! Wave to me, Mooey!

Cartman: Butters, shut the hell up

[Mooey is still dancing. Suddenly, a group of PETA members break in and start beating him up and pulling his head off to reveal someone in that suit]

PETA Member #1: We are People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. WE PROTEST YOUR INSENSITIVE USE OF COWS AS YOUR SCHOOL MASCOT!

Mr. Garrison: Oh, Jesus. Not PETA again...

PETA Member #2: Cows are maimed and slaughtered and used as a commodity. [he douses a bucket of red paint onto Bebe. As they do this, we see a video of an old slaughterhouse scene on how to prepare beef.]

PETA Member #1: This is the FATE OF THE COWS! This is your insensitivity!

Everyone: EWW!

Kid: [sobs]

PETA Member #3: The cow is a slave, the cow is a commodity. To be thrown away by a society GONE WRONG!

[The next day]

Mr. Garrison: Alright, children. I've just been informed that since our school has been attacked by eco-terrorists for the 47th time, we ARE going to change our school mascot

Everyone: AWW!