Don’t Taze Me

[Verse 1]
Walk into the club girl says, "Let's dance."
Surprised they let me in, I was wearin sweatpants
I got my own cash, I don't need your advance
Act right?
Fat chance
I'll be doin headstands
Don't want my hand stamped **
Keep your bracelets**
Fake ID til I'm 86
They be takin shots no chasers
Cops with tazers
Complications, it's not so basic
Face it, when you up in the club
Wasted, lookin for something to rub
Aces lookin like 10's to you
Only got one dollar but you're spending two
Bouncers, buggin all the time
Ounces, smuggled in with dimes
Shoutin, wildin, straight buggin out
Til the police come
Now they got you talking bout

[Chorus]
Don't taze me, bro!
Don't taze me, bro!
Don't taze me, bro!
Don't taze me! x4

[Verse 2]
Dancing in the club girl says, "Let's chill."
Takes me by the hand to some Tex Mex grill
Before we at the door she take out a ex pill
"Lemme show you how good could sex feel."
Wow
Now that's real, real exciting
It doesn't happen often, lightning striking
But even if I'm drunk and I'm in a grimy state
Poppin pills is just so 1998
She looked good but this lady failed me
And what's this look like the Slim Shady LP?
"Are you for real?"
I said I'm mad real and your pill ain't no ex, it's an advil
Yeah
I know, right, that was bold, yo
And girls don't like bein told no
So I went back to the club rollin solo
"ID?"
"I was just here Bozo! No!"

[Chorus]
Don't taze me, bro!
Don't taze me, bro!
Don't taze me, bro!
Don't taze me! x4

[Verse 3]
Walkin out the club girl says, "Hey look!"
Pointing at me
"I know that guy from Facebook."
Steps up to me like
"I'm Grace, would you like to take a trip back to my place?"
Uh
This isn't MySpace
This is real life
And I don't know you even though it feels like
You know me real well
Plus, I don't feel well
"This is my friend, Jill"
Good thing I heal well
I've heard tales of a strobe light honey
But with two girls you won't see no fight from me
We got into the whip, and we peeled out
Pulled up to the crib like, "Is this a real house?"
"How do you feel bout sneakin in a pool?
Think of all the freaky kinky things that we could do."
No time for common sense so I hopped the fence
What happened next is probably obvious
* *
[Chorus]
Don't taze me, bro!
Don't taze me, bro!
Don't taze me, bro!
Don't taze me! x4