Do u feel alone right now?

It's been a little while since I've cutted on my wrists
But I just need to feel the metal gripping in my fist
Just a couple scratches think I need to get my fix
Put the blade right to my face and then I watch the bloody drip
It doesn't really hurt in fact it feels like total bliss
The water stings more and I just love to feel it's kiss
I know that something's wrong and it's not good to feel like this
But I promise either way I just feel like total shit
I'm questioning reality like who the fuck am I?
Looking in the mirror I see a monster in my eye
I don't wanna live I'm just scared as fuck to die
But I'm so fucking done and I just wanna say goodbye
You tell me not to worry that you're texting other guys
I've been thinking lately baby you're not fully mine
And baby if that's true then tell me what's the point of life?
Cause I give you all my heart and you're just fucking with my mind
Somethings gotta change 'fore I fully go insane
Sick and tired of the way that you make me hate my brain
I know it's not your fault and I'm the only one to blame
But I've been struggling to breathe and I'm so tired of these games
Wash the blood away, wash the blood away
You tell me that you love me then I watch you fade away
Solve my problems with a blade, hide the pain on my face
Issues on my sleeve, carve my skin just like a page