Do Not Disturb 18'

Verse:

I write these verses with blood from my heart/
It was therapeutic for me it started in school/
Now I’m performing sunset in New York in the dark/
I left the stage a fan hugged me and asked was I cool/
She heard that story bout my aunt/
All the flaws that I flaunt/
All the demons in my temple, and the halls that they haunt/
Rolling backs with my niggas/
Burning back to back, chasing figgas/
Lil niggas thinking, wait till we get bigger/
Overnight duck hunt turned into real triggers/
But you still playing games/
Man hunt turned to man down/
Trapped in that loop, blocks I would stand round/
A pack in my boot, weighing some grams out/
I’m wearing all black/
I hate to stand out, I hate the attention/
I hate when you watching, I hate that you listen/
Was so insecure/
False confidence was never sure/
Either or/
Maybe both/
You wanna talk it out, but I say we don’t/
My family scattered, I wish I felt like it mattered/
Was precious we let it shatter, on rumors a bunch of chatter/
Caught 4 felonies, 6 misdemeanors/
Separate case for grand theft auto/
Same year that my Father died/
Remember thinking like am I gon’ cry?/
I feel desensitized/
To be honest I’m probably traumatized/
And we ain’t even have the hardest lives/
Darryl got shot 8 times, I saw the fear in my mama’s eyes/
I feel like shit because I disconnect/
See thats my oldest homie, had a daughter/
I ain’t even see her yet/
Ski kids neither, I don’t event know they names/
Can’t even take a breather, everyday the road change/
Sometimes this path is feeling so lame/
I said I wouldn’t change, I’d just evolve/
But is it just semantics?/
Every woman’s tired of my antics/
And they don’t stack up to Maria so it’s hard for me to be romantic/
I don’t miss her though, I miss the idea/
What I fear, is the fact that I don’t care/
I put money in the place of you/
Emotion wise, I claim to be unavailable/
Thats not ok to do/