Different Kind of Christmas

[Hook] x2
Joy, peace, love and cheer
Will all be here
But I'm missing you
And this is true
It's gon be a different Christmas this year

[Verse 1]
I did this with ..
Cause I want y'all to hear me
Every verb, adjective and noun
Is spoken clearly
I nearly broke down
Cause I love you dearly
But I had to write it
Cause Christmas comes around yearly
I'm ashamed to admit
My definition of love
When it came to you
It just didn't fit
At least not agape love
Cause I had conditions
(That is) until you left my vision
And went out of my reach
Now I feel obligated to speak
Cause I'm jaded and weak
So as I'm taking a peep
At your pictures
It bugs me out
(Man you don't understand)
How much I really do miss ya
No more family trips
No more bug noises
No more crazy laughs
Or dissing your choices
I hope by the end of this
I've really been heard
Cause love is an action
And not just a word

[Verse 2]
I remember sharing a room
And making tents
We had fun as kids man
All the games we'd invent
Life was cool then (sure was)
And I was cool with it
But responsibility grew
And you grew with it
You started dating
Dancing and clubbing
I stuck with my sports
Even tried a little thugging
Our lives started to split
You chose your way
I chose mine
And that's when it hit
I became opinionated
Trusted Christ for my life
You couldn't be persuaded
Thought that you were alright
You thought I hated you cause of your lifestyle
Man I couldn't, you're my brother
I just didn't know how
You were able to do it
Cause even though you didn't see it
Trust me, moms was going through it
Thinking your choices were her mistakes
We used to pray till our voices hurt
But had to wait
To see what the Lord would do
And last year in Florida
He asked, and you said, I do
Then last Christmas I was looking forward to seeing you
And I did, in ICU
When they called and said that you had caught pneumonia
I said, it's cool, he's tough, he's gon get over
But this time it wasn't meant to be
Cause even though you were sick for awhile
It always seemed to me
Like you getting passed
We'd laugh and chill
But you told me this time
You saw death for real
But you wern't afraid
Cause you accepted the Lord
I was still skeptical
But the next step I applaud
You said you understood
That you were a sinner
And Christ died
So at the end of your life
You could enter
Into His presence
And when I think of that moment
Man I'm still blown
Cause that was my present
Unconditional love
The greatest gift ever given
So give it while your loved ones around
And still living
I miss you dog
In case I havn't been clear
But I gotta keep moving
Even though you not here
The Lord will hold moms
As I wipe away the tears
Just know
Christmas is different this year