Desire

Everything I want now's what I couldn't have
Looking at it like "wow what I would for that"
I'd put 'em back in their aisles where they stood on racks
And wonder if I had a dad around could I tug his slacks
Our cupboards lacked any piles I could rummage past
"What to have"? Thinking "I'll eat a butter slab"
Stomach flat when it growled in a hungry yap
I'd ponder if my daddy was in town, could I munch a snack
"Mommy, mommy I want this"
"Mommy, mommy" I'd hug her hips
And then a tear would develop under my lids
Scrunching my lips, I guess I wasn't getting what money is
That must've been why I was obsessed with comic strips
Another dimension where some exist to summon gifts
And punish criminals, a funny thing I would contradict
'cause once in a bit I'd unzip and stuff one in

Under water, under water
We just need air
Nothing bothers, nothing bothers
You and me there
You hold me high
When I feel so low
And I survive
We always do

Everything I want today's what I seldom owned
The wetness rose in the holes of my ripping soles
Bitter cold licked my toes when I stepped in snow
I'd think "yo if he didn't go I'd get some winter clothes"
He left us both and I was scared to death she hit the road
At seven old in her sister's home where I'd sit at phones
Next I know I spent a whole year and distance'd grown
Eventually though my bedroom door was opened and she gripped me close
"Mommy, Mommy I missed you so"
"Mommy, Mommy" She kissed my nose
And then a river flowed from our skin and was blended
When she told me "Billy let us go" I said "Never again"
Now when the weather's grim in the city and wind's
At chilling temps I tend to then remember those feelings and grin
I'd definitely been through thick and thin until its bitter end
But even then I never did learn where Desi went

My mother gave away all my toys
As just a boy to make the space 'cause she was annoyed
And I remember the lies to her current love she
Hid my things in the closet to stop him from learning of me
I barely ever even had my own quarters
Which gives a new meaning to living room for boarders
Couldn't set up figures, couldn't hang a poster
Gd forbid if it looked like a kid would hang or post up
Now as a man it's better and I'm an advanced collecter
My figures stand in sectors with themes and band together
So when I heed possessions a deep completions sets in
And if a piece is missing then a piece of me is missing
I'm gonna buy my childhood for my birthday
All the while denying why I got one in the first place
I desire more and the void in me widens more
She tried her hardest and the boy in me fights her for it