Delay

(I just need a few moments. Pause for a dream)
Head full of dreams
Not to be generic
Most of the time I’m just cautious before I share it
Most of ‘em big enough to have me embarrassed
If you see where I want to be and where I’m at
And compare ‘em
Do we all just yell into the void
I hope they hear me
Trapped between nostalgia and future regrets
Dreams left unfulfilled
Is a mean step
Toward destruction
So let me build (let me build)
I’m tryna make a move
While I’m feeling trapped
Can I still do what I want?
Is my will intact?
In the womb of obscurity I find myself
My identity I had to break just to find myself
Walking on a cloud tryna find a balance
Feel like I walk a 100 miles right behind my eyelids
Mind racing tryna grapple with my situation
That I am not who I thought I was
I’m just tryna face him
While I’m tryna raise a family and pay the bills
That time for introspection is evaded still
Bitin' off more than I can chew
Mortified by how fast the time moves (I know you feel that)
Wifey lookin at me like "what are you doing?"
But my kids say they want to be just like me
As far as wifey goes
Girl I get it
And with the kids I feel flattered
But I’m nervous that they might be
Whatever y’all do
Take it further than me
The self doubt and self esteem
That be murdering me
I brought my burdens with me
Flirt with fire
Watch me turn up the heat
To the furnace with me (fine)
Find my place with the eternal redeemed
God is Love
The one thing I don’t deserve to believe
To the turf where they bleed
Door keeper
Let me serve 'til I leave
But when it stopped
I think I still heard the dream