Deep End

I'm feeling so lost inside my own head
Don't know what it cost I'd rather be dead
I'm lost in the sauce, don't care what you said
No you're not the boss, held shit by a thread

I cut your ass off
Until we meet again

My heart it went soft
Let's not play pretend

The lines that I cross
I can't make amends

I'm having these thoughts
Make me see the end

I'm feeling like I'm full of your lies
The villain, when you throw on disguise
Appealing, when I go touch the skies
I'm healing, never let me say goodbye

When I say goodnight
How I lost that fight
When I chase the light
'Cause it don't feel right

Miss you by my side
But you can't provide
Now my feelings are fried
Like at least that I tried

I feel so alive

I guess it's a lie
I'll be better in time
It's no wonder I hide
I'm embedded with crime
It's no fun when I ride
The way I look for a sign

Now I'm trapped in the darkness
I didn't even start this
I feel like I'm heartless
Don't matter regardless

I'm holding within
Don't know how to begin
So I go and I sin
Crawling out of my skin

Like save me
Without you here I just go crazy
Can't see clear I feel so wave
Miss you dear I say it daily
Can't believe I kept you waiting
I'm off the meds not operating
It's in my head I'm not debating
It's what I dread I'm fucking hating
Feeling like I've been creating

I feel like the worst
Like I'm right on the verge
And I think that I'm cursed
Like I'm fighting the urge
And I deal with the hurt
When I'm high as the birds
And my hands in the dirt
Like I'm buying her words

I see you in dreams
They're tainted with screams
Thought we were a team
It's not what it seems

Thought we were to be
Well that's silly me
I'm paying the fee
No that shit ain't free

Now we're in the deep end
Been gone for some weekends
I feel like I'm tweaking
These answers I'm seeking

I hate that you're leaving
Come go like the seasons
You know that I'm grieving
I just want the reason

I remember the nights
We look at each other
"We're ready to die"
We didn't even stutter
I'm crossing the line
I'm changing the color
I can't even lie
I still fucking love her

Like save me
Without you here I just go crazy
Can't see clear I feel so wave
Miss you dear I say it daily
Can't believe I kept you waiting
I'm off the meds not operating
It's in my head I'm not debating
It's what I dread I'm fucking hating
Feeling like I've been creating

Without you here I just go crazy
Can't see clear I feel so wave
Miss you dear I say it daily
Can't believe I kept you waiting
I'm off the meds not operating
It's in my head I'm not debating
It's what I dread I'm fucking hating
Feeling like I've been creating

I remember the nights
We look at each other
"We're ready to die"
We didn't even stutter
I'm crossing the line
I'm changing the color
I can't even lie
I still fucking love her