Death Then Hell

When I was fourteen, they gave me some pills
It didn't help, kept cutting, still long sleeves
Just moved, but they still knew, leave class
To cry in a bathroom

When I was fifteen, I was found so bloody
Then she said she would kill me
Said if I wanted to die, she’d take my life
So ashamed of me

Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then-- [x2]

When I was sixteen, she wanted to kill me
On that day, she threatened me
She said she would throw me
She held me, throwing glass
While I was hiding

Then seventeen, hospitalized
'Cause I wanted to end my life
My senior year, I lived in fear
Guess you could say they saved my life

Eighteen, I started taking pills
But not the ones that they perscribe
I don't remember much
But all I know is that it wasn’t right

The people that I was around
They didn't care that I might die
They fed them to me, then they used me
Then they took me on a drive

In the backseat of the car
Found a dark place and then they parked
They took my clothes off, held me down
I couldn't move, started to cry

I ran and ran, I told my friend
Guess what? She said I wanted it
She took me home, I cried alone
Began to question my whole life

Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then-- [x2]

I'm twenty-three, not doing better
Like I dreamed that I might be
A happy life, a happy home
I guess that's not the life for me

I still have hope, a little faith
In feeling loved, in feeling safe
But there's still demons in my brain
Five medications, every day

Wake up and instantly feel sick
Constantly anxious, life's a bitch
My heart is aching, mind is racing
Life or death, still don't know which

Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then hell
Death then-- [x2]