Dear Sprint

[Intro]
"You have reached the Sprint voicemailbox of (Brainstorm, nigga). To leave a voice message, press one. Or just wait for the tone."

Bitch...
Fuck Sprint, bitches

Sprint I mean it
My service, I need it
Been with you for six years, and I still can't believe it
Don't wanna sound extremist, but man why the fuck?
Every time I call I never get no one who speaks English
Or a bitch with a bad attitude who obviously hates her job and her life, so being disrespectful is alright
Or when I handle biz, and the call fades to black
How come you motherfuckers don't ever be calling back?

I mean, can't be the only one
I can't be the only one who wants to find a few of you and threaten you with loaded guns
Yes, I am so serious, your service makes me furious
When I travel all the time and have no signal, period

But I hope you appreciate me forever and a day, day, day
'Cause if I wrote you a letter, Sprint, this is exactly what it'd say

Dear Sprint, I'd like to talk a little shit
But I don't really have the time to
'Cause I'm too busy on my phone steady waiting on hold for thirty minutes just so I can be lied to
I have an unlimited plan so I don't understand what you mean when you say "We had to fine you"
I swear if I was crazy enough, I would hop in my truck
Make my way to the call center and find you

I'm saying dear Sprint
I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know
Dear Sprint
How'd my bill get so high, so high, so high, so high?

Sprint I mean it
My service, I need it
Been with you six years, and I still can't believe it
Your phones freeze up, and ya iPhone sucks
You only have me 'cause AT&T sucks just as much, so
I suggest you step it up, believe I'm not the only one
And Sprint you ain't the only one that's tryna be the only one
Gave your rep a sale, and he handed me a fail
And the only time I get my way is when I raise hell, so

Sprint I hope you appreciate me forever and a day, day, day
'Cause if I wrote you a letter, Sprint, this is exactly what it'd say

Dear Sprint, I'd like to talk a little shit
But I don't really have the time to
'Cause I'm too busy on my phone steady waiting on hold for thirty minutes just so I can be lied to
I have an unlimited plan so I don't understand what you mean when you say "We had to fine you"
I swear if I was crazy enough, I would hop in my truck
Make my way to the call center and find you

I'm saying dear Sprint
I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know
Dear Sprint
How'd my bill get so high, so high, so high, so high?

[Outtro]
"Thank you for calling. Goodbye."