Dear Mistuh P

[Verse]
Dear Mr. P.D., I'd like to introduce me
If I do say so, in fact, that's why I'm writing
I would be the partner of your dreams
We're in the same business, you see
You're just a little more successful than me
But one always knows when they say
So I just did it to you straight
I had a little trouble gettin' started along the way
But it's all cooled out, I was paroled yesterday
Money handlin' and high finances is my meat
Big time contracts and favor seekers is one of my specialties
From first hand experience, I know еvery greedy quirk
How about makin' me the commissionеr of public works?
I just see myself head of public works
Actually, it's not half good enough of what I'm really worth
I know you know human nature, you know
The more you eat, the more you get hungry?
So I'm gonna leave it to your big heart to fix my salary
Distortin' what people say is my favorite brand of humor
And I don't know the difference between
Gospel fact and the wildest rumor
By nature, I'm a nosy sneak, and I always hated commie
Don't you think I'd be perfect for the secret police?
Can't you see yours truly as head pig, as the hippies would say?
Loyalty, law and order, and petroleum would rule the day
Prisons would be full of irresponsible newsmen
And catholic traitors
We'd have televised public service firing squads
Many of my brothers who wanted to be black agitators
I agree with you, right, but, I'm not so wrong
The lazy and the shiftless
They been ridin' the gravy train too long
You're the master at keepin' the unwashed in hand
But I try hard, 'cause I'm only second qualified in the land
I have no qualms about leavin' supporters on the limp
And I can overshoot a budget with the best of them
And siphoning off money is an old habit
You know, you should maybe
Make me a minister of your cabinet
Since the prison doctor fixed my teeth
I got a smile like you wouldn't believe
I've only skimmed my credentials, but I'm sure you'll agree
That after yourself, I'm the perfect ideal nominee
I can never hope to fill your place
I only suggest myself since they tell me you won't race
Dogs love me, plus I never kept a promise as I can remember
And sure to see, I'm the perfect candi-titorial Tim