Dear Lebron

(Chorus: Dido)
LeBron is mad
I'm wondering why
I asked for a trade at all
I scored 40 in the Finals
But I can't please LeBron
And even if I could I’m not Chris Paul
With their picture on a boat
It reminds me that it's not my Cavs, LeBron runs the Cavs

(Verse 1: Kyrie Irving)
Dear Bron, I wrote you, but you only subtweetin
I left my cell, email and my address in Cleveland
I sent two letters to Dan Gilbert, you must not've got 'em
He probably fell off the side of the Flat Earth or somethin' Sometimes trade requests become too sloppy once they’re public
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, man? How's our teammates?
I just wanted to be the man, and a chance to lead-
If I win a MVP, guess who I’mma call?
I'mma call Kobe

I read about Derrick Rose too, I'm sorry
He signed for the Vet Min cuz every team didn't want him
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your best teammate
I even hit The Shot after you made The Block on Andre
I got a room full of our posters and our Flatheads, man
I like the ‘Ship we won in ‘16 too, that ‘Ship was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your best teammate, this is Kyrie

(Chorus: Dido)
LeBron is mad
I'm wondering why
I asked for a trade at all
I scored 57 against the Spurs
But I can't please LeBron
And even if I could he won’t commit to stay
He’s leaving to play with Ball
It reminds me that it's not our Cavs, never was our Cavs

(Verse 2: Kyrie Irving)
Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-to-Commit To Cleveland
This'll be the last message I send before I’m leaving
It's been three seasons, I’m second fiddle — do I deserve it?
I know you got my last email
I even CC’d Brian Windhorst
So this is my message I'm sendin' you, I hope you get it
I'm in the gym right now, I'm scorin' 30 next season
Hey, Bron, I wanna go to the West too, you dare me to go?
Stephen A Smith said if you saw me it’d come to blows
And all I wanted was a chance to handle the ball
I hope you know I ripped all of our Fatheads off the wall
I loved you, Bron, we coulda played together — think about it!
It’s ruined now, I hope you don't win and you dream about it
And when you leave I hope you lose
And you scream about it; I hope your conscience eats at you
Cause you can't win without me
See, Bron— shut up, Dan! I'm tryin' to talk
Hey, Bron, that's Dan Gilbert screamin' in the hall
But I didn't stab his back, I let him know first, see I ain't like you
‘Cause if he trades me, he’ll get a good player back too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost off the Cavs now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to win a title now?!

(Chorus: Dido)
LeBron is mad
I'm wondering why
I asked for a trade at all
I haven’t even hit my prime yet
And I wanna leave LeBron
But even if I stayed he’s on the decline
He’s almost 33 years old
It reminds me that it's not our Cavs
Durant ruined the Cavs