Dear God, My Name Is Billy

Finally, the Rock HAS COME BACK TO INDIANAPOLIS! Triple H, let the Rock understand this for a second. Last week on Raw, he beat your ass in a Cage Match, and now, this week, you're the number one contender for the WWF title? Well, the Rock realizes why that is. 'Cause you got a three-foot nose, you turn it sideways and stick it straight up Vince's ass! Triple H, the Rock says, at this pay-per-view Fully Loaded, number one contender or no number one contender, the Rock is gonna do to you exactly what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown on your candy ass!

Now on to 'Badd Ass' Billy Gunn. The Rock understands what took place. The night you won King of the Ring, you got down on your knees, put your little hands together and said a prayer, and it sounded like this: "Oh Dear God, you see, my name's Billy. And I just won King of the Ring. But there's just one problem: everyone still thinks that I ABSOLUTELY SUCK!"

And then at that point, Billy, your house started to shake, the heavens opened up and God Himself spoke to you and said: "Bob..." "But my name's Billy..." "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! You are absolutely right. You do suck. But there is one thing and one thing only that you can do. You must go find the man that is simply electrifying. You must go find The Rock."

"Oh but God, anybody but the Ro..." "KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" And then as fear went through your body, tears went down your cheek and piss rolled down your leg, your house started to shake again, the clouds parted and the heavens opened. And what seemed like millions... of voices said to you in unison, jabroni, "If ya smelllll what the Rock... is cookin'!"