Danisnotonfire Diss Track

[Intro]
Hello internet, my name is Dan and today I am going to roast myself with a diss track

(Fuck I just hit myself in the face, okay. Let's- let's do this.)

A month without uploading he comes back with a tag
That no one even tagged him in
He's not a challenge to drag (ouch)
So prepare for an attack
And by that I mean cringe (oh)
Cause this motherfucker's about to get
Dragged by his fringe

First things first, you're freakishly tall
It's weird, you look like a noodle (true)
You've got hair that was cool in 2007
And wet you just look like a poodle (hobbit)

Throw in a really annoying posh voice and
Yup, that's Dan (posh)
You're what would happen if Winnie the Pooh
Fucked Slenderman

You procrastinate making videos
Cause being judged is scary (oooh)
You're so close to being forgotten
The hate's imaginary (whoah)

The only reason you get views
Is you're another white guy
That people ship with his friend
Cause they think it's kawaii!

Oh?
[Reasons why Dan's a fail! (yay)]
I'll give you some

You never tweet
You overeat
All you do is cry and sleep
Your jokes are shitposts and memes
With no originality
Your family's sad you flopped
Your law degree at University
And anything embarrassing that's from your past
You just delete
You were vegan for, like, three weeks
Then what? You missed the meat? (milk)
Wow I'm so impressed
By your clear moral integrity
You try so hard to be peaceful and diplomatic
But can't make toast without Tumblr saying you're problematic

I could go on
There's more if I check
There's more things on this list
Than chins on your neck

On your birthday you joked you were a quarter way to death
A hundred? Yeah
When getting out of bed makes you out of breath?
So your celebrity crush was J-Law but now its Evan P.? (mhh)
What the fuck even is your sexuality?

It's hard to put you in a box
When you keep it so blurry (what is that?)
I think it's just to hide
That you're secretly a furry

[I-I'm joking. Obviously

Okay that went deep. Repress it? Yep! Before I start crying, let's wrap this shit up]

I'm gonna go and masturbate
Then cry into a slice of pizza (feelings)
Shout out to the other YouTubers
Especially Ryan Higa, ha
A cringe compilation mixed with cultural appropriation
Met with no depreciation
It's the YouTube nation!

Click subscribe!
If you wanna watch four videos a year (or three)
To see my last one (from 10 years ago) just click over here (fail)

So leave a comment with your reaction
You can call me a liar
Cause you just witnessed the roast of
[Danisnotonfire]