Dad 3

One time I saw my dad and he was
Lookin' like the mascot from the Cheetos brand, I’m talkin'
'bout the dude that’s basically a cheetah man, he loves
Spicy corn snacks and he's been banned from Japan, but just like
Any good father he would hold my hand, and
When I got hurt we'd take the Cheeto van, the
Hospital has a lane for special Cheeto vans, and the
Highway has a lane for special Cheeto vaaa-aa-aaaa-ans. The

Moral of the story is to stop pretending that your
Dad isn't actually Steven Williams, you're probably
Like, who the fuck, is Steven Williams, that's the
CEO of FRITOS that I Googled for this song, and I
Tricked you into thinking that I knew who that is but when I
Saw, his picture, I know who that is, hе's my
Father, he's the mothеr-fucken Cheeto man, and to-
Gether we can do it, but no in Japaa-aa-aaa-aaaan

Ja-
PAAAAAAN, he’s been banned. He’s -
Not allowed, in Japan anymore

Dad! this is Dad
Three-eee-eeeeee. And you wouldn't be-
Lieve. What it’s like after three dads. It's the best

One time I saw my dad and he was
Looking like the person who had raised me right, taught
Me to be respectful and to never fight, except that
Kellogg's bitch who bragged about bein' right, and every-
Thing in his world is so fuckin’ great, when he
Goes to Japan he gets past the gate, the se-
Curity line doesn't waste his time, I
Wish that that father was mi-i-iiii-iine