Cupholders

Free the hand, free the man
Free the hand, free the man

I remember what the world was like before cupholders
It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good
Now they keep our drinks upright
And our cold drinks colder
It's so nice when something works the way it should

Now we have them in our boats, lawnmowers and airplanes
In our golf carts, our wheelchairs and our cars
And in our bathrooms, there are some
That fold up when we're done
You can find one nearly anywhere you are

So why isn't everybody happy?
Why so much discontent and strife?
And when I feel like Styrofoam
Baby, you make me feel at home
Yes, you're the cupholder of my life

Free the hand, free the man
Free the hand, free the man

With our cell phones, our drones and computers
Before these things, how did we survive?
Now we rarely have to think
About a place to set our drink
What a beautiful time to be alive

Now some people say "cupholders"
Others say "cuffolder" (Cuffolder)
Pronouncing the "P-H" as an "F"
There are two schools of thought
And discussions can get hot
But actually, either one's correct

So why isn't everybody happy?
Why so much discontent and strife?
When my life is in the can
Baby, you're my place to land
Yes, you're the cupholder of my life

Free the hand, free the man
Free the hand, free the man

Cupholder (Cupholder)