Crofters: The Musical

[ROMAN]
It’s hard to stay informed these days with news so intense
We’re bombarded with grim black currant events
I should drop this whole serious song pretense
‘Cause this song is not about all that

[THOMAS]
We made a partnership with Crofter's
We heard a roar across the border that we think came from their bear
We believe it meant to extend us an offer

[ROMAN]
For which I plan to make a jam that’s just as tasty as theirs

[LOGAN]
Dreams come true, that’s news to me
How wild… blueberry
Who knew that our buffoonery
Would bear fruit so divine?
Even I
I don’t have the vocabulary
To describe what I’m
Feeling inside
But for me it’s very unordinary

The first time you bought a jar, I remember the day
In a local health foods grocery

[THOMAS]
I felt like Lara Croft or Nathan Drake
Discovering a treasure once unknown to me
But the greatest thing is yet to be revealed
Guys, I cannot believe this is real!

[LOGAN, spoken]
My own jam?!
I’m gonna flip. My. Lid…

[LOGAN, ROMAN & BOTH]
Dreams come true (I’m fraught with jelly-sy)
That’s news to me
How wild… blueberry (I can't believe you're telling me)
Who knew that our buffoonery (That he's the favored Side)
Would bear fruit so divine?
Even I
I don’t have the vocabulary (I don't have the vigor to bear)
To describe what I’m (The loss of pride that I'm)
Feeling inside
But for me it’s very unordinary

[THOMAS, spoken]
But Roman, do you like it?

[ROMAN, spoken]
Like it?
LIKE IT?
(sung)
This is Crofter's

[THOMAS & LOGAN]
This is Crofter's

[ROMAN]
We’re talking Crofter's

[THOMAS]
Sweet, sweet Crofter's

[ROMAN]
I mean, this jelly might as well be gold
It’s all that I opt for

[LOGAN, ROMAN & THOMAS & ALL]
‘Cause Crofter's is the only jelly
I put in my
Belly! (Only jelly in my belly)
Oooooh (Only jelly in my belly)
Na-na-na-na-na-nah (Only jelly in my belly)
The only jelly I put in my belly!