Crazy Dan

This guy doused his wife in gasoline
Then he went and he set the bitch on fire
You see Crazy Dan was the name of the man
Well, he was sort of a...
Well he was pretty much a high strung jerk and a liar

She didn't die just right away
She smoldered and she cried
And Dan the loon was heard to say
"I considered it a matter of pride"

Dan was such a stormy man
Apparently he took all he could stand
So after dinner on that mournful night
He tied her to a stake

Put to use a fucking goddamn shit ass son of a bitch
And set ablaze her golden locks thus immersed himself in sin
Being as how they lived on a farm miles away from nowhere
Dan felt safe in his fiendish deed and figured no one would be aware
Now Dan was sweatin' from the heat of the woman, her flames all bright and glowin'
Alas the spectacle had a spectator, someone peeked without Dan knowing

This peeking person no person at all was the figure of Dan's own conscience
But meanwhile beside his blazing bride Dan laughed and grunted grunts
Dan watched her fry with a gleam in his eye, what a crackpot daffy loon
'Course at that time Dan wouldn't guess that he'd be getting his soon

For a couple of days Dan's conscience was there
Just hanging around the house
Started to infect Dan's little head
With the memory of sizzled spouse

Dan was crazy as crazy can be, he began to be affected
For in his fucked brain and heartless heart, some guilt was left unprotected
He'd pace the floor and pull his hair and cry alone at night
For now he knew the one thing to do was the one thing that was right
They took him away in a paddy wagon, now he's locked up tight
So if you're married to an unbalanced man, best not ask for a light