Crass Commercialism

0:00 - 1:50
I'm so damaged. I just lost my fucking job and my girlfriend almost killed herself. I don't what I'm gonna do. I've been taking pills all day, I'm so fucked up. Tomorrow night I think I'm gonna end it all...by going to see Black Flag at the Fleetwood in Redondo Beach. They're playing with the Mau Maus and the Cheifs and Vicious Circle and...and the Screwz and the Descendents...and it's gonna cost $4.00. I don't know where the fuck I'm gonna get it, I'm probably gonna have to steal the money or something. I don't care. What the hell, you know? Like, I just...I think I'm just gonna end it all with Black Flag tomorrow at the Fleetwood. I hope all you punk-ass motherfuckers gonna be there too because...I've just...I'm gonna end it fucking all, man! Tomorrow! I'm fucking damaged I'm so fed up! Tomorrow night! I'm gonna end it all with Black Flag at the goddam Fleetwood! Redondo Beach! I can't take it anymore.

1:52 - 2:54
Voice 1: Hi, I'm Black Flag's slave. I obey Black Flag. I love to graffiti Black Flag all over the walls of the city and if you don't like it, well that's too bad.

Voice 2: You don't have to be a white minority, but come to see Black Flag Friday, June 27th, with Redd Kross, Frigidaires, and the Descendents at the Station, 18047 Valley Blvd in the City of Industry, just north of the 60 Freeway between Azuza and Nogales. Call area code 213 964 4431 for information. That's 964 4431. Remember this Friday, June 27th, Black Flag with Frigidaires at the Station. Head over, and watch for the new Black Flag EP next month.

2:54 - 4:00
Voice 1: Creepy-crawl to Starwood! Brothers and sisters you MUST creepy-crawl to Starwood. The Starwood must be creepy-crawled.

Voice 2: Black Flag at the Starwood this Tuesday, November 18th.

Spot: This is Spot reporting from inside the Starwood. By the looks of things, this place needs to be creepy-crawled!

Voice 2: Watch for the new SST record 12" EP from Black Flag, with "Jealous Again," "Revenge," "White Minority," "No Values," and..."You don't have anything against me do you?" Remember, Black Flag, Eddie and the Subtitles, and the Minutemen this Tuesday. There's no shelter; there's no place to hide! If they wantcha, they're gonna getcha! David, the gorillas are knocking your door down!

Voice 3: Dedicated to those who wish it was an act.

4:01 – 5:07
Vito: David, we got this Black Flag group here on January 6th and 7th at the Starwood.

David: But, Vito, I can explain

Vito: We've seen the Black Flag records in all the stores. Do you know what you're getting the Starwood into, David? Chief Gates says this is gonna cost the whole organization plenty. We don't need this.

David: But, but I'm sure we'll have a nice bunch of well-behaved kids on the 6th and 7th, Vito.

Vito: They better be. If not, Shorty here'll fix ya with a pair of cement sneakers.

Shorty: Yeah…sure, boss!

Vito: Shut up!

Shorty: Sorry boss.

Girl: Yeah, it must be hard to swim with those things on I bet. I like the song, though.

Voice: Black Flag at the Starwood January 6th and 7th. And get the new five song Black Flag EP Jealous Again on SST Records.

Vito: And David, we’ll be talking to you later.

5:08 – 7:12
Mother: Hey Mel were you at the last Black Flag gig?

Mel: No, Mother, why?

Mother: Because there’s muck crawling all over the place

Mel: I know, I don’t understand it. All the good muck loves Black Flag.

Mother: Yeah and Black Flag’s playing at the Stardust Ballroom Wednesday night, February 11th.

Mel: Isn’t that at 5612 Sunset Blvd.

Mother: Yeah, just one block east of the Hollywood Freeway.

Both: You guys would be fools to miss it.

Climax Productions present in concert Black Flag, Fear, the Circle Jerks, China White, and the Minutemen Wednesday February 11th at the Stardust Ballroom. Tickets available at Ticketron, Zed, Vinyl Fetish, and Moby Disc. Get there early to see the Minutemen and get their seven-song 7” EP on SST Records. Also get the SST Records 12” EP from Black Flag with “Jealous Again,” “Revenge,” “White Minority,” “No Values,” and “You Bet.”

Voices: Get in the van!

Police Radio: Attention all units we have a major disturbance at the Stardust Ballroom, 5612 Sunset Blvd.

Joe: Hey this is Unit 47, we’ve got a 10-4 on that. Hey Frank, is this that Black Flag group again?

Frank: Uh, yeah Joe 10-4. Chief Gates is in a real uproar.

Joe: What the hell are we waiting for then? Let’s go there and beat up some of them damn punk rockers!

It’s not my imagination. I’ve got a gun at my back!

Climax Productions present Black Flag, Fear, China White, and the Minutemen Wednesday, February 11th at the Stardust Ballroom, 5612 Sunset Blvd. And get the SST Records 12” EP from Black Flag with “Jealous Again,” “Revenge,” “White Minority,” “No Values,” and “You Bet.”

Police Radio: We need more backup units! They’re all crazy! Call up the National Guard!

7:13 – 8:13
Lou: Hello, children. Welcome. I go by many names, but you can call me Lou. I’m glad you could make it to our little party. Let me tell you a secret: if you keep going to see Black Flag and living this way, you’ll realize your hell’s on earth, and after you die there can only be bliss, for nothing can be worse than this! Ah ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

KROQ in association with Phantom and Bunko present Black Flag at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium Friday, June 19th at 7:00 PM. That’s Black Flag, the Adolescents, D.O.A., and the Minutemen. Advance tickets $7.00 available at Ticketron, Zed Records, Moby Disc, Vinyl Fetish, Poo-Bah’s, Slipped Disc, Rhino, and the Santa Monica Civic box office.

8:14 – 9:27
Just wait, wait ‘til I cue you. Welcome brethren to the Divine Church of Our Lady of Nowhere,
America’s only punk rock pulpit. God really loves all the martyrs of punkdom. God bless your shaved little heads! Slam for the savior, pogo for prophecy. Let me hear an amen a-one time! (Amen!)

KROQ in association with Phantom and Bunko present Black Flag at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium Friday, June 19th at 7:00 PM. That’s Black Flag, the Adolescents, D.O.A., and the Minutemen. Advance tickets $7.00 available at Ticketron, Zed Records, Moby Disc, Vinyl Fetish, Poo-Bah’s, Slipped Disc, Rhino, and the Santa Monica Civic box office. Get Six Pack, the new Black Flag 7” EP. Don’t forget Black Flag’s previous recordings, Jealous Again and Nervous Breakdwon, and the Minutmen’s Paranoid Time and watch out for the Minutemen and Saccharine Trust’s debut albums out soon, all on SST Records.

9:27 – 10:22
So break out the bug spray and do us all a favor, woah-oh.
Ant music's lost its taste, Adam Ant's a little faker. Ant Music sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks
Ant Music sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks
Ant Music sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks

Don’t get stepped on: get Six Pack, the new Black Flag, 3-song 7” EP.

KROQ in association with Phantom and Bunko present Black Flag at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium Friday, June 19th at 7:00 PM. That’s Black Flag, the Adolescents, D.O.A., and the Minutemen. Advance tickets $7.00 available at Ticketron, Zed Records, Moby Disc, Vinyl Fetish, Poo-Bah’s, Slipped Disc, Rhino, and the Santa Monica Civic box office.

Adam Ant: Hello, this is Adam Ant telling you that the Ants literally suck.

10:23 – 11:27
Hi! I’m John Stash from Black Flag. Well I got no values, nothing to say. I got no values, might as well blow you away. Y’all go see Black Flag at the Santa Monica Civic this Friday. We’ll be expecting y’all.

KROQ in association with Phantom and Bunko present Black Flag at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium Friday, June 19th at 7:00 PM. That’s Black Flag, the Adolescents, D.O.A., and the Minutemen. Advance tickets $7.00 available at Ticketron, Zed Records, Moby Disc, Vinyl Fetish, Poo-Bah’s, Slipped Disc, Rhino, and the Santa Monica Civic box office. Get Six Pack, the new Black Flag 7” EP. Don’t forget Black Flag’s previous recordings, Jealous Again and Nervous Breakdown, and the Minutmen’s Paranoid Time and watch out for the Minutemen and Saccharine Trust’s debut albums out soon, all on SST Records.

11:28 – 12:35
(Do it again, ok?)

Person: Gator, Black Flag’s playing tonight! Turn off the TV, c'mon let’s go!

Gator: Nah, nah man. Me and the boys were gonna sit back and watch a little TV and drink a six pack.

Person: Well that’s it, I’ve had it. You’ve got to choose between me or that six pack.

Gator: Well if you put it that way…c’mon in you guys and bring in the case!

Person: If this keeps up I’m gonna have a nervous breakdown!

KC presents in concert Black Flag, Fear, the Stains, Youth Gone Mad, and Caustic Cause Friday, September 11th at Cal State Northridge, formerly Davenshire Downs, at 1800 Devonshire in Northridge. And get the three-song Black Flag single Six Pack.

Remember: Black Flag, Fear, the Stains, Friday, September 11th, 8:00 PM at Cal State Northridge, 1800 Devonshire in Northridge. Tickets available at Ticketron and at the door.

12:43 – 17:10
Spot: C’mon, you know something? One of these days the Nuremberg trials will happen again about hardcore punk and I’ll just be telling ‘em: “I was just a soldier, following orders, pushing the buttons.” And…no I don’t wash my hands of the whole thing, I…my hands are really fucking dirty, but…what do you say after you’ve said what you’ve said? We can live with the hub. The heap, deep-dish gelatinous hub.

Lawyer: To take Spot’s case on this very important issue, he was just working there! Just trying, at all costs, just to…it’s the Nuremberg trials, shut up!...Just to live with the hub. Just to work there!

Spot: I mean I…I…I know…I don’t feel bad at all about the, you know, the scars that I may have caused. You know, and I was responsible for the whiskey riots, but…um.

(Objection! Objection!)

Well, I’m just being truthful here. (laughs) I don’t want to be God.

(Turn the reverb down!)

Ok…I don’t care.

Lawyer: My client is not…is not of sound mind at the moment.

Spot: That’s not true I’m of very sound mind; I was of sound mind when I pushed the buttons, when I pushed the faders, when I blew up the world, I…I…I knew what I was getting into, it’s just that

Lawyer: I’m afraid my client is not of sound mind; he doesn’t know quite what he’s saying. He, um, had nothing to do with blowing up the world, he only makes the music for Black Flag. Um, if, gentlemen…ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if you think that by mixing the music for Black Flag, and the commercials, which admittedly were a bit obnoxious to say the least, were, um, had anything to do with the world being made radioactive at this point, then…

Spot: I mean, we’re all cancerous, we’re all gonna die, we all knew that when we were born

(No we’re not! We’d used to live like Gloria Vanderbilt)

I’d rather be cancerous

Harold: Uh, this is Harold Sfinkel saying, uh, now that you heard the record why don’t you go out and buy it now? I mean we got this Black Flag thing and the commercials coming at you and it’s like we’re kind of like closing the door on the past. What do you think about that theory, Dad?

Dad: Well, I’ll tell you son. You know, this uh, this Black Flag stuff reminds of when back in the ‘30s, ya used to record live remotes, ha ha, like your Tommy Dorseys and your Duke Ellingtons, ha ha, your Dwight Eisenhowers and all those guys, ha ha ha!

Harold: Yeah what the hell, I guess it must’ve been pretty fun back in those days, eh Dad?

Dad: Yeah! I tell ya, they really dropped the real bombs back then! Ha ha, and I caught ‘em all! But I tell ya, you know, this Black Flag stuff is like, uh, the best stuff I’ve been into, y’know?

Harold: Yeah, uh, like me too, uh, hey, wow, like gelatinous and all that stuff like my nose is healed and uh, what the hell you know, like the music’s got your power, it’s got like pizzazz, it’s got your drive, it’s got your edge…

Dad: It’s got your poon tang, son, don’t forget about your poon tang! Ha ha, poon tang is what it’s all about, son! And they just hook me up with some of that good 40 year old stuff, gonna go in the garage with it right now, ha ha! And, ha ha, hey honey how about a blow job?

Harold: Me too, what the hell.