Cousin Kevin

[Verse]
We're on our own, cousin
All alone, cousin
Let's think of a game to play
Now the grownups have all gone away
You won't be much fun
Being blind, deaf, and dumb
But I've no one to play with today
Do you know how to play hide and seek?
To find me, it would take you a week
But tied to that chair, you won't go anywhere
There's a lot I can do to a freak

[Pre-Chorus 1]
How would you feel if I turned on the bath
Ducked your head under and started to laugh?
Maybe a cigarette burn on your arm
Would change your expression to one of alarm

[Chorus]
I'm the school bully
The classroom cheat
The nastiest playfriend
You ever could meet
I'll put glass in your dinner
And spikes in your seat

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I'll drag you around by a lock of your hair
And give you a push at the top of the stairs
What would you do if I shut you outside
To stand in the rain and catch cold, so you died?

[Chorus]
I'm the school bully
The classroom cheat
The nastiest playfriend
You ever could meet
I'll stick pins in your fingers
And tread on your feet

[Verse/Outro]
We're on our own, cousin
All alone, cousin
We've thought of some nice games to play
While the grownups had all gone away
You weren't too much fun
'Cause you're blind, deaf and dumb
But I've no one to play with today