Countrier Than Thou

[Chorus 1]
Countrier than thou
Countrier than thou
You weren't raised in a shack
So you better not act so
Countrier than thou

[Verse 1]
Some people just don't understand it
If you come from where the kudzu grows
They think the south is like a planet
Of peckerwoods and bozos
When I was young I picked some goobers
Even took a swig of moonshine
But I never saw so many goobers
Until the day I crossed that line

[Chorus 2]
Countrier than thou
Countrier than thou
You wasn't born in a cave
So you better not behave so
Countrier than thou

[Verse 2]
Down at the bar a-spinnin' Haggard
He wore a Johnny Reb tattoo
Overalls, he spat and swaggered
Lord, he was a Boston Jew
He loved bluegrass, oh brother
When I said Shania he sneered
"That's a word I wouldn't utter
"We like to keep it down-home up here"

[Chorus 3]
Countrier than thou
Countrier than thou
You ain't never read your Bible
Tell me why's your vibe all
Countrier than thou?

[Bridge]
Home is nice and Dixie's nice
And everyone likes a thing that's nice
But everybody likes you better by far
When you are what you are
Not a hillbilly dilettante, fair-weather hick
Demi-clod, faux po'folks, well-readneck
Robert-E.-come-lately
Hayseed wanna-be
Undercover Yankee
Mississip- Ph. D
Alabam-ateur, 50% less Tarheel
Armchair Arkansan

[Verse 3]
He's got a ranch, he wears a Stetson
He's a hip-shootin' ex-oil king
Even talks like Buddy Ebsen
But he's sittin' in the West Wing
Frankenstein I'm well aware of
But won't somebody please explain
How you get a county sheriff
Walkin' with a frat-boy's brain

[Chorus 4]
Countrier than thou
Countrier than thou
Well you went to Andover
What's the banjo fer?
Countrier than thou
Yeah, Countrier than thou
You wasn't raised in a shack
So you better not act so
Countrier than thou
(Off-white trash)