Count Sockula Esquire

[Verse 1]
I used to use thoughts to form a complex message
Now they act as my main form of contraceptive
Wonder where my conscience is as I watch the Jetsons-
Can't wait 'til Konami drops Contra 7
The Autobot stays laser-proof- glazed the booth-
And play the mic like a chef with a spoon tastes the soup
Filleted your troop, found a grenade and played the loop
Extinct cats ain't smiling like a sabre-tooth
I'll make a poop on some missioning toys in visors
And give 'em shine with the glistening moisturizer
Boys supply the whereabouts of coy advisors-
As punishment make 'em listen to Moist in sideburns
I'm sick of burning kids black parkas
But I admit I love the smell of permanent black markers
Go figure- I'm feelin' it like old Jigga
While I spy your platoon jiggle to Gold Digger
Trivial situations turn medical
Theoretical rebels get tended to by the tentacles
Mentioning the penmanship: it's incredible
While chicquitas speculate dimensions of my genitals
Speaking of which I saw your better half at the show
Started off cold but later on she had an afterglow
Bad habit of intimidating faking ladies
Teaching new languages while simulating making babies

[Verse 2]
I show up to the jam wired when the band's tired
And grab the microphone dressed like a vampire
Crowds get upset when I'm servin' herbs candy
Like girls get disgusted when they hear the word 'panties'
Butter smooth lyrics cascade shimmering slopes
Invincible riddles'll trickle from the pinnacle's throat
The timid trip on sentences and syllable ropes
In minutes cynics switch to kids that say the ritual's dope. (C'mon now,)
Last year I bought a robe made of cashmere
I only wear it out when I'm rollin with Black-beard
Rap pirates act flyest 'cause we spat science
This guy is seein' more nips than a cat's sinus
Your highness called me up tryna get hired
Said I'd review her resume- then threw it in the fire
Count Sockula, Esquire- some say a harsh fellow
Kids got parched elbows, sippin' melted marshmallows
Prevalent with the sonics and eloquent with ebonics
Ducks are hardly movin' like Disney animatronics
Intentions to planet rock Bambataa tell em' to stop it
Eccentric with the tent pitched, feminists be honest
Competition ain't measurin' up
I drop jewels on a town and motherfuckers start clevering up
Not saying that I'm better and stuff
But while you pluck flower petals I'm gettin' medals for pettin' the muff