Cosmik Debris [Live in Rotterdam]

[Verse 1: Frank Zappa]
The Mystery Man came over
An' he said: "I'm outta sight!"
He said, for a nominal service charge
I could reach Nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
Why, he would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote his attention to me

[Chorus: Frank Zappa, George Duke, Both with Napoleon Murphy Brock]
But I said, "Look here brother
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?!" (Jivin')
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? (Good God, ain't it funky now?)
"Look here brother, don't you waste your time on me"

[Verse 2]
The Mystery Man got nervous
An' he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
And a can of foamin' goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Aphrodite (Yeah)
An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said: "You might not believe this, Ralph
But it'll stuff your shoes with the triplet (?), too!"

[Chorus: Frank Zappa, George Duke, Both with Napoleon Murphy Brock]
But I said, "Look here brother
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?!" (Jivin')
What kind of geroo are you anyway?
"Look here brother, don't you waste your time on Napoleon"

[Instrumental Break 2:17–3:37]
[Tenor Sax Solo: Napoleon Murphy Brock]

[Spoken Word Interlude]
George: Ah, look, you know they tried to tell me
Napoleon: Whoa, get me out of gay Paris, oh yeah
George: Lord, that broad in the bathtub was a man
Napoleon: What did you say?
George: Oh, lord, don't you know he tried to tell me
Napoleon: Did you see that string around her back, George?
George: Lord, that that broad in the bathtub was a man
Napoleon: Oh, you know you gotta look so you'll understand, ya'll
George: Well, did you know the source I heard from was fairly reliable? Whoa, don't you know that you gonna be jivin' sometimes when I told that fool, I said listen that, that was a man that jive around the big lips on them. I said that's got to be a lady
Napoleon: You better, you better
George: Look out!

[Instrumental Break 4:22–10:03]
[Keyboard Solo: George Duke]
[Guitar Solo: Frank Zappa]

[Verse 3: Frank Zappa, Napoleon Murphy Brock]
"I've got troubles of my own" I said (Oh, yeah, yeah)
"And you can't help me out
So take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout"
"But I got a kristol bol!", he said
And held it on up to the light
So I snatched it all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right

[Bridge]
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was Deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
An' told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocket watch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around
I said "The price of meat has just gone up
An' unfortunately yer ol' lady has just gone down
What d'you think of that?"

[Chorus: Frank Zappa, George Duke, Both with Napoleon Murphy Brock]
"Look here brother
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?!" (Jivin')
Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho, tell me?
Don't you know
You could make more money as a hooker?
So don't you waste your time on Ralph

[Spoken Word Outro]
FZ: Thank you! Gratia plena! . . . The name of this song is "Chester's Gorilla." One. Bwah. This number also features Ruth . . . One, two, three, four