Convenient

Why am I so hard on myself?
Why am I so hard on myself?
Why am I so hard on myself?
Why am I so hard on myself?

Was it worth to make them join the party?
Honest, when I said I need nobody
My lens scanned the surface of their bodies
Sign up, sign in, buy my silence
But I’m craving something more tonight
Tryna find a way to reconcile
When they think they wrote you off
Even when it’s said and done, wouldn‘t budge until I‘m recognized
So, won’t you tell me if it’s real
Spent the whole night in my feels
Can’t stop staring at my screen, tryna find a piece of me in everything you reveal
Usually I don’t make a scene 'less it‘s not right
Show me what‘s beneath the film
Supercut like
Hardly say shit 'less I’m drunk
My emotions bottled up
That wasn’t part of the deal
I got plenty on my plate
Out here tryna live a life that‘s worth the pain
Living like a double agent, it’s outrageous
Entourage began to label me insane
My mind is stuck on the road like I got no place to call home
And I can‘t make homes of other souls but my own, believe me
I figured this shit is easy, yeah
My mind is stuck on the road like I got no place to call home
Changed my approach so that I don’t end up cold, believe me
I figured that part ain’t easy
I figured this shit is easy
And it’s convenient for me
Guess it’s convenient for me

Why am I so hard on myself?
Why am I so hard on myself?
Why am I so hard on myself?
Why am I so hard on myself?

Yeah, yeah
Never settle til I get a medal
Don’t you get the memo, this my fucking M-O
Everybody feel like inboxing me when they losing they shit, running out of ammo
Who gon’ save me when I’m down on my knees from the load on my shoulders
They caring the least
Know, when I feast, I’ll be feeding the ones on the table
That gave me the strength that I needed
I need you to need me, the money, the fame and the grammy’s awarded included, uh
I know if I get it I’d prolly return it, my heart is in it for the music, uh
I’m painting these pictures of pain to uplift and negate the traumatic experience so
The fuck is a critic to me and my niggas if we know we already winning