Cont

[Intro, spoken]
So, yeah, this is, um, this is a new song I've written. It's kind of a, sort of jaunty swing number and it's called, um, "Cont"

[Verse 1]
I don't like Jews
...
Neither should you
They're ethically and spiritually poor, that's a fact

I don't like black people
...
It's just not acceptable
There should be some kind of law that is that

[Verse 2]
And I get the shits with Inuits
...
...
They get on my tits, the little bastards

And women
...
Just make me so mad, does that make me bad?
Am I bad, is that bad?

[Verse 3]
And the fuckin' Italians, I just cannot stand them
...
They really inspire my rancour
Cheating fucking Italian wankers

And lesbians and the bi-curious
Make me furious
...
It's not their fault, I know, but still... grr!

[Verse 4]
And fuckin' Christians
...
I just want to punch 'em in their faces
...

And I'm not comfortable with Muslims on the tube
...
And I can't stand publicly breast-feeding mothers
...

[Verse 5]
And I hate gays who talk camp-ly
...
And the fuckin' Chinese make me angry
...

[Bridge]
I hate the rich...
I hate the poor...
I hate bitches...
I hate whores...

[Outro]
I hate Africans...
I hate Japanese...
I hate the disabled...
I hate Burmese...

Yeah, I don't care about your colour or your creed
I will judge you for no reason...

[Interlude, spoken]
Is that... is that... no, just stop. [Heckler: I love you!] Ohhh. Oh, fuck. Sorry, I... it's, ugh, that's the trouble with trying out new stuff. It's... half the lyr- I had half the lyrics covered up. I thought I was... I was only... I think we, I think we should probably do it again; I think if we leave it there, I might run the risk of being misconstrued. It's not even called "Cont", it's called "Context"!

[Verse 1]
I don't like Jews
Who make and distribute kiddy porn
Neither should you
They're ethically and spiritually poor, that's a fact

I don't like black people
Who risk billions of other peoples money gambling on future derivatives
It's just not acceptable
There should be some kind of law that is that

[Verse 2]
And I get the shits with Inuits
Who find out what job I do
And regale me with a racist joke or two
They get on my tits, the little bastards

And women
Who judge other women for not holding the same views as them vis-a-vis career and mothering
Just make me so mad, does that make me bad?
Am I bad, is that bad?

[Verse 3]
And the fuckin' Italians, I just cannot stand them
When they take a dive in the penalty box, denying Australia its World Cup spot
They really inspire my rancour
Cheating fuckin' Italian wankers

And lesbians and the bi-curious
Make me furious
When their pride parade blocked the traffic flow when my baby had asthma and had to go to the hospital
It's not their fault, I know, but still... grr!

[Verse 4]
And fuckin' Christians
Who lean on their horn when my wife is being cautious at an intersection
I just want to punch them in their faces, although my anger is fleeting
I understand their frustration, she's a little too hesitant

And I'm not comfortable with Muslims on the tube
Who look over my shoulder when I'm reading
And I can't stand publicly breast-feeding mothers
Who smoke cigarettes while they're feeding

[Verse 5]
And I hate gays who talk camp-ly
During the final act of King Lear
And the fuckin' Chinese make me angry
When they make sham erection potions out of the horns of endangered rhinoceros

[Bridge]
I hate the rich who use their wealth as an excuse for bigotry
I hate the poor who use their poverty as an excuse for bigotry
I hate bitches who get rabies and try to bite babies
I hate whores who won't accept Visa

[Outro]
I hate African racists
I hate Japanese homophobes
I hate those disabled rapists
I hate Burmese cats

Yeah, I don't care about your colour or your creed
I will judge you for no reason
But your deeds!

[spoken]
So, um...