Congratulations

[Verse]
I heard he popped the question
I heard that you said yes
I hear you're gonna sink
20k into that dress
I hear you're signin' up
For a morning indoor spin
To fit into a dress
That you'll never wear again
What else can I say

Congratulations

[Verse]
Ya'll are on the plane now
For a week-long honeymoon
It's an all-inclusive stay
How creative of the groom
Well there ain't too much to do
At a Sandal resort chain
Read your magazines by the poolside
'til you gotta come in from the rain
What else can I say

Congratulations

[Chorus]
Congratulations my friend
This is how it all ends
The next fifty years are gonna be a ball
No, things did not add up
When you signed the prenup
But at least you got pictures in the hall
What else can I say

Congratulations

[Verse]
Now you've come back to Earth
Since you got back to town
Traded in that négligée
For a fleece night gown
You're off and in the kitchen
And in the laundry room
Just a cookin' and a cleanin'
A domesticated tomb

At least you got your spare time
And your weeknight TV
Escape all you want girl
It ain't gonna set you free
I hear your man is off and gone
To Vegas with the boys
Well you call him on the cellphone
You can't hear him over the noise
What else can I say

Congratulations

[Solo]

[Verse]
Well I heard you had enough
And you filed for a split
It's only been 18 months
But you might as well quit
I'm sorry that it's over
I'm sorry you're alone
But you cannot build yourself a life
Trying to keep up with the Jones'
What can I say

Congratulations

[Outro]
What else can I say

Congratulations

What else can I say

Congratulations