¿Como Te Gusta Mi Pinga?

(Verse)
I told my friend the writer
How happy I would be
If he'd write an opening number
Especially for me
But when he had it finished
It came as quite a shock
He handed me a song titled
"How Do You Like My ..."
I said, "You can't do that in public."
I said even I wouldn't dare
So he made a few small changes
Now I can sing it anywhere

(Chorus)
¿Como te gusta mi pinga
En tus pantalones?
¿Como te gusta mi pinga
Y mis cojones?
It's the same old thing and the same old hole
But when you say it in español
It sounds divine

¿Como te gusta mi pinga?
Es muy caliente
¿Como te gusta mi pinga?
Es grande plente
You don't go around shouting you're well-hung
But when you do it another tongue
It sounds divine

When the hour is late
And I don't have a date
And I feel that I can't go on
I lift up my head and I stick out my chin
And I talk like Montalbán

¿Como te gusta mi pinga?
It sounds so neato
Like a warm quesadilla
Or a pork burrito
It's the same old cheese and the same old meat
But when it has a Latin beat
It sounds okay
¿Como te gusta mi pinga?
Olé!
Ay! Ay!