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[Intro]
607-342-481
607-342-481
607-342-481
607-342-4816

[Verse 1]
Games, dude, yeah I beast on ‘em
Sega too yeah I beat Sonic
In my day-to-day
I stay playin’ bae
They be hatin’ me cause I’m me, sorry
Tickled pink like I’m Majin Buu
Call me Cage
Take your pick
Nick, Lucas, and Johnny too
I do a split then I’ll break your dick
But in real life
I’m real nice
Just flexin’ hard
Cuz I feel like
I been holding back about all the flack
And online attacks got me real tight
You want to preach about Gamergate?
Let’s reconvene at a later date
You really wishin’ someone would listen
Now take a seat and some Gatorade
You are so parched on the internet
Got no regard I’m not feelin’ cats
Who leave crazy comments
They actin’ jaundiced
And way too fond of inventing facts
They leave rape threats in your mentions
They get big ups from they henchmen
When you kick ‘em out they make new accounts
That are fake like some extensions, I’m thinking
You should invest in collecting a best friend
Who won’t let you press send
To someone you just met through Twitter or Sirius XM
They’re letting me have it
And yeah they can pray for my absence
Through they habit of being an abscess
They be making me cash through my AdSense

[Hook]
Sorry I’m not on right now
I’m logging off the internet
Leave a message I won’t call you back
Hit me up at 607-342-481
607-342-4816
607-342-4816

[Verse 2]
Who hurt you?
Did you have an early curfew?
Had a crush but you wasn’t in they purview?
Had nobody you could turn to?
Did it not occur to you that I’m an Urkel?
Yeah—I wanna be the same team
Seems like we excited by the same things
Still, I would never type scathing crazy
Hate to a page that I can’t dig
Or are you one of those
Who do it for the lulz?
Do it for a high five
From another troll?
But then you wanna hide like playin’ MMOs
Cuz no-one ever knows who you are and it shows
I’m sorry your life isn’t working out
But I promise that typing a hurtful thought
Will not solve any plight you’re concerned about
And I’d honestly like for your curtain call, like
Take a bow take a seat
Thinking about the things you speak
Why d’you wish to get me pissed?
I’ll fire a blitz like Pistol Pete
Your fandom’s expanding
You’re feeling abandoned
You think they are pandering
So you throw a tantrum
And hide like a phantom
While holding us ransom
With terrorist banter
That you pass as candor
You’re really a land bird
From Chef Colonel Sanders—yeah!
You’re writing a lot
I disabled the comments
I oughta say thanks for your antics
Cuz if I think about it
You took all the time
To compose such a long-winded fanfic
You’re doing more work than my fans kid...

[Hook]
Sorry I’m not on right now
I’m logging off the internet
Leave a message I won’t call you back
Hit me up at 607-342-481
607-342-4816
607-342-4816