Commentary - The Pain You Let Me Feel

Okay, "The Pain You Let Me Feel"
I was in London, uh, in early, early 2022, and
I was kinda going back and forth in London, I was staying in Ireland at the time, and I was kinda going back and forth, and
I texted with a friend Josh Grimmett
About us kind of writing
And we tried to make it work but there wasn't really times that were lining up
And he's super super busy with everything that he's got going on
And I was kind of like in a holiday writing mode also trying to finish this record, like
I had time
So I was there, I think with my wife
Yeah, I was there with my wife
And this storm hit London
And it was a pretty like sort of serious storm
It was strong еnough that it ended up ripping, um
Some of thе roof off the O2, which I didn't know at the time, but
In retrospect, pretty serious storm for London
London doesn't really get those kinds of storms
And, anyway, Josh texted me and he's like, "Hey
I don't know what you're doing this afternoon but like my sessions just canceled 'cause the trains are down
And the guys couldn't make it
So if you can get to the studio, do you wanna write?"
And I was like, oh yeah, sweet
So I, I'm in walking distance of the studio, I figured I'll just walk there
Which in retrospect was a really bad idea, in the storm
And um, I remember my wife saying like, um
"I think you're gonna write something really good tonight"
And, and I was like, "Yeah, I hope you're right"
And so I, I walked out the door, I start walking towards the studio
It's not raining but it is so windy, like
You know the flagpoles that are in London, like outside of every place?
So they've taken the flags down because they're worried they're gonna blow away
But the flagpoles are just rattling, like it's so noisy, I'm walking everywhere down the street
Just bins, like, flying
And um, and I remember like thinking to myself
You know maybe You'll calm the storm but maybe You sent it, like
Kinda similar how we talked about "Boy on the Moon"
Like there's things that, there's, there's maybe times in, in this wild wonderful life that, like
I'm not saying God causes bad things to happen all the time
But there's some stuff that like, I let my kids experience 'cause they need to learn, for example
The other week, um, my son was trying to poke his finger in the fire
It was just a candle
And so I was like, my wife was like freaking out being like "No, no, no, no"
And I was like, no, just let him do it, like let him burn himself 'cause he's gonna realize fire's hot and bad
And we kinda had this like marital parental, like, kind of argument about it
And a couple days later he goes to stick his hand in the, I have this barbecue going which is like a proper flame
With like hot coals, big wood
And he goes to put his hand in that
And again, I was able to stop him from that, but the point being
If I could've let him put his hand in the flame a few days before I don't think he'd try to put his hand in the barbecue
And I think God, um, does that sometimes maybe
Like maybe there's sometimes there's flames that we're meant to kind of experience in order to
You know, save us from the, from the barbecue, if you will
So, anyway, I had this i-, I had this thought about the storm
And I remember taking that to Josh and he's like, "Oh, I really like that"
So we start working on this thing, and we write
We write the song "Anyway" with the bridge in it
Which is "The Pain You Let Me Feel"
And as it came to kind of tidying up the song and finishing it that bridge didn't feel like it fully fit anymore
But it did to me feel intrinsic with the song, and so
Broke the song into three parts
You've got "Anyway", which sits in the middle
You've got the reprise, which is kind of like the worship response moment
But then you've got the preprise, which to me sets the entire scene of what this song is about
Maybe, maybe You'll calm the storm but maybe You sent it
Maybe, maybe Your will is to have me exactly where I am
And maybe You do really good things out of really bad circumstances, maybe
Um, the other thing that I think's interesting about that thing, the, that, the preprise
Is the line, um
"If You're, if I'm feeling pain, it's 'cause You're letting me"
It's like the idea that like, God actually is allowing, if I'm suffering
I can't ignore the fact that God has actually allowed that to happen
Like it, so it, in some respects it's within His will
Or it's at least, at the very least, it's within His allowance
And so there must be some good, if that's the case
There must be some good that He's gonna try and pull from this
Or some, um, lesson that, that I can take from it, something I can learn
Through however bad it is, 'cause, um...
"But I've lived enough to know
You want the best for me"
And, and yeah
I still stand by that