Comedy and Magic Club (Freestyle)

[Verse 1: Chris Turner]
I make it flow
The words never fail
When I get too long
Yeah, I clip a toenail
I take a nice pair of nail clippers down there
Take care
Cause my toe's got that hair growing too long
I see the toenail's too strong
I let my keratin grow out
I sing a song when I do it
Usually a sound of pain
I got the fungus on there
I'll never do it again
Walk through a swimming pool with no socks on
When I clip my tail-no
Yeah where it gone?
Tail-no I meant toenail
Flip the word around
Let me see the ambulance coming by the sound
That's the Doppler Effеct
Where's it going next?
Thе pitch starts high and then it's directly down the street
The pitch goes lower as it moves
Don McMillan on stage he proved
How it worked
It's the frequency
I can't move on there with secrecy
Like the Chinese government out in Beijing
Cryptocurrency is a real thing
Bitcoin and Ethereum
If you got a lot of that you're a wealthy man
But if you go to the Republic of China
Get a little coin out
Yeah it's a shiner
See all the sunlight reflect off the currency
They're not doing that well though currently
A trade war coming on between here and China
Yeah the White House in fear saying
"Oh God, yeah we got those tariffs"
"Gotta keep the money in that balance"
If you don't study it fiscally
There's no laughs in here it's a risk for me
But that's okay
Yeah I'm gonna move on
Quantum mechanics
Yeah not the Yuan
I'm gonna say
Particles in space
Could be anytime like Tequila in my face
When I knock it down my neck I take a lot of shots
I'm in the bar how many?
Yeah, I forgot
I knock all of the glasses
I try and count em up
The next thing
Yeah hold em up
Your wands are mean
I'm gonna say this I'm a charmer
Let me take it off you, Expelliarmus
What a magic trick you can do with Harry Potter
Can you fill this empty bottle of Tequila?
Get me Jose Cuervos
Sounds like a spell that they do
And I do know, you can ask him
Come from far?
Harry Potter how did you get that scar?
"Well actually I was drunk on the worm juice, I was walking around here's the mad proof
I stumbled and broke my glasses
When I get drunk off Tequila the girls asses look so fine
I observed"
I crash and I burn like the Hindenburg
Coming in the early twentieth century
You tried to land there it was meant to be
But didn't end pleasantly
Oh the humanity
All the German people dying, they were set free
It was burning
Never do again
Careful don't fill with the Hydrogen
Because it's flammable fools
When lightning strikes it's not gonna end well
No, not right
All those people burning
One little fact
There's still one survivor
Where does he live?
At-tually in North Colorado
This is true, I studied this
There I really do go
I think he lives in a place called Parachute or Rifle
I've gotta look it up, tell you the truth
Chris, we didn't know these people lived for so long
It's true yeah
I've got a really long shlong
Why would I say that?
Yeah I am the boss
Yeah, I don't call it a big shlong
I call it a sausage