Colorado Cool-Aid

Well, I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas
Was drinkin' Colorado Kool-Aid
And talkin' to some Mexicans
And we was
What's that you say?
What's Colorado Kool-Aid?

Well, it's a can of Coors
Brewed from a mountain stream
It'll set you head on fire
And make your kidneys scream
Oh, it sure is fine
Yeah, we was having ourselves one of them real good times

But you know every beer joint that you've ever been in
Some big, mean drunk who just ain't got no friend
Sure enough, he wants to fight
Yeah, he's gonna whip everything in sight

Well, he took him a big swallow of beer
And he spit in my Mexican friends ear
And, sure enough
That made my buddy real mad
That's something like he ain't never had

Well, sir
He pulled out a big, long switch blade knife
Quick as a whistle
He began to slice
And that big mean drunk stood back
His face full of tears
Looking down at the floor and one of his ears

Ha, he cut that thing off
Even with the sideburns
You might say the little Mexican fella
He just didn't give a durn

But he was a gentleman about it
And bent over
And with a half way grin
Picked it up and handed it back to him

He said: "Now big man
You get the urge to spit a little beer
"Just open up your hand there
And spit it in your own ear
Won't be no trouble that way."
That's what I heard him say

And I said
"Barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid
"And while you're up there
Bring this big fella, here a box of Band-Aids."

Now let me tell you
If you're ever ridin' down in south of Texas
Decide to stop and drink some Colorado Kool-Aid
And maybe talk to some Mexicans
And you get the urge to get a little tough
Better make damn sure you got your knife proof ear-muff

Hey, ain't that right, big man?
I said ain't that right, big man?
Ah, hell, he can't hear
Not on this side anyway
He ain't got no ear

Hey, barmaid
Bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid
How about it?
How you doing, big man?
Still got your ear there in your hand?