Cold Nights

[Verse 1]
I just wanna make a million dollars
I don’t wanna have to worry 'bout the commas
But I can’t say that, it’ll come back in
Every conversation, I’m debatin’, doubtin’ I can make it
Tripped up, I don’t even wanna try and
The girl that I love can’t even look me in the eye
I’m slippin' so fast, who the fuck am I?
I don’t even wanna write, cause everything I write is shit
Man I wanna fuckin' quit, is it me or my disease?
On my knees, god please, god stop punishin’ me
What the fuck did I do? Do I deserve this?
My life, is it worth it? This pain, it’s just hurtin'
I know you can see, I’m bruised and I bleed
The most fucked up part is I suffer unseen
The world, they can’t see that I’m goin' through hell
All the words that exist, none describe what I feel

[Verse 2]
I don’t know who I am
Slowly I’ve drifted, my old self I’m missin'
You with it, I honestly don’t give a shit
Trust in my life, it doesn’t exist
Would I be missed if I just disappeared?
This thought clouding my mind
All the time, I just question my reason in life
Had a path full of purpose, now I’m just a waste
Fuckin' fightin' and stealin' shit, why do I do this?
I don’t wanna do this, I’m just so clueless
Can’t cope with emotion, can’t stick with devotion
I keep on just pushin' out people that care
Act like it ain’t there, my need to be loved
What if I took a shot, go up above?
Will it be different with God doin' judgin'
Or would it just end in the dark, all for nothin'?

[Verse 3]
I don’t wanna go to school
I wanna live by my own rules
Everybody that I know talks down to me
My friends, enemies, even my family
Any place I look, I feel so alone
Nobody is there, the world is cold
What came first, the punishment or the pain?
I don’t wanna be here anymore, it’s hard cause
The holidays come, and it’s always only me
I’m just thinkin’ ‘bout how I lost my siblings
They split so fast, no stoppin’ them now
I wanna move back, man, fuck this town
Ain’t nothin' I love, no reason to stay
I’m stuck here now, I can’t get out
I despise everything that’s surroundin' me
And I’m so fucking lost, no way I can be found