Co-RunbookMan

[Intro]
Yep. SRE 3 will set us free in 2023
LMS Operational Excellence Working Group
First time you’re ever given documentation over a rap loop, right?
Here we go!~

[Verse]
It’s a new quarter, I see all your double takes
Like we’re at Ruth’s Chris we’re bringing you table stakes
Services nervous so your Apple cable shakes
Do what we must to make LMS stable, thanks
Alerts in the thousands, I know it seems daunting
When GCNs stop quicker, we'll all be flaunting
Forgetting the days when IRIS was haunting
And sleep through the night whenever we’re wanting, (it’s the NOC!)
In order to get there we need a full audit
And I can’t do it for you, I’m not a prophet
Get rid of alerts, please don’t simply pause it
Then you’ll hate InGraphs a bit less I posit
With Co-Runbookman, we’ll bring you some tooling
To reduce your alert count and no I’m not fooling
Your dashboards will load so fast you’ll be drooling
But in order to have quality, you first need some schooling

[Chorus]
In our LMS club, on-calls the bouncers
They deal with any trouble they encounter
Put runbooks on alerts, you’ll never flounder
Doesn’t matter if the graph’s a Gauge or a Counter

[Verse]
Whether latencies up or GC is stalling
You don’t want SREs to come callin’, (right, Colin?)
React quickly so red graphs are fallin’
The last thing we need is engineers bawling
How do we know a runbook’s high quality?
Follow our three steps, that is the policy
Only facts the matter, please avoid mythology
You’re trying to avoid escalation to Balaji
The steps are in order of their priority
Documented, not given tribal or orally
Embedded links, so you’re not searching worriedly
The last step should be the next line of authority
Follow this rap, you’ll never be in hysterics
We’ll help you out with problems that are generic
Keep ‘em handy like soldiers living in barracks
And you’ll never toil or be Idle like Eric

[Chorus]
In our LMS club, on-calls the bouncers
They deal with any trouble they encounter
Put runbooks on alerts, you’ll never flounder
Doesn’t matter if the graph’s a Gauge or a Counter