Close My Eyes

My stomach turns and the cigarette burns a hold in my memories of "when". Walk the streets, the rain sparkles off the concrete of my forever rest. I've swallowed every pill in the house. And heaved up every bit of my pride. Toss and turn, crash and burn, toss and turn. The sun is rising and I've nowhere to hide. Spitting up blood in the bathroom; the ulcer goes deeper than these four walls. It's not romantic, and it's no sin. And cowards don't lose, they just never win. I CLOSE MY EYES AND SEE EVERYTHING AS CLEAR AS DAY. I OPEN MY EYES JUST IN TIME TO SEE IT TAKEN AWAY. The next morning beats down on me like a bar-room brawl - it kicks my ass. I look outside to see that nothing changed. And nothing changes when I close my eyes