I thought I’d have it all together
By the time I reached this specific moment
I’d be lying through my teeth if I didn’t own it
And express that there’s no satisfaction. I just have to work
Bank account hasn’t caught the accolades and it hurts
I could use some cash flow to save the day
Used to be promoters tried to hit me for the pay to play
Now they speak of me like I might be one of the city’s greats
Folks around the nation talk about me like I’m finna break
Rap chat’s often
Giant like my dad’s Coughlin
This kind of growth isn’t something that you back off of
Coming from a land where not a lot of blacks prosper
Complexion make you drive with wallet on the dash obvious
Life is in danger if you don’t have your tags proper
Or if you hit the wrong hood and it’s past darkness
I was raised to be prepared to swing like Math Hoffa
So I swing for the fences. Don’t be pitching at Hosmer
I always thought that violent ends were absurd
But my words
Got me in your favorite city it’s superb
But my family deserves
More from me as I’m flowing
Yet I’m barely home, my kid brother barely knows me
Mom laughs on the phone but I can tell she’s lonely
Is this the grind’s toll, or is my perception phony?
Was gonna hit the fam, but I had to book another show
That’s the way it stands for you to watch the brother grow
Y’all think I’m blessed up
I’m just feeling pressure
When your favorite indie rapper swears that I’m next up
And Your favorite nerdy rapper hyped all my sets up
Always get respect around my town because my rep’s tough
But behind on bills they’re steady eating all my checks up
But I can see progression
On these flights I didn’t pay for
Gigs starting to pay more
Peep the flyer now my name’s bigger on the paper
Love is in the labor
You say I’m being brave but
While I’m glad to get respect
Some of you swear you sold your soul for a steady check
Yet I’ve Been looking for my soul. I could swear it left
Burned it out as I strove to chase this thing doggedly
Atlas says my place is about to be where it ought to be
Light run ins with majors I’m afraid they’ll be accosting me
You trying to imitate the trap, but they watch the geeks
They want to infiltrate
Think that’ll get them paid
At these conventions with a couple thousand in the place
Making sounds that get them crazed
I don’t know how to give them blame
When girls cosplaying Tifa and Danaerys
Dropped some bills on me for merch while I was signing things for Aeris
I’m trying to keep it short because she’s got a line behind her
My Lady’s somewhere in the arcade. I need to find her
Phone’s on the table showing email reminders
That this Shirt and CD money’s going to feed my loan providers
So I cringe over the sight of
The perception that I’m rolling cake
Back in my city see these rappers stuck in older ways
Don’t mention my name in those best of KCMO debates
Then in private ask me how I get to play the shows I play
Difference is I’m only so concerned with local ways
Respect the town and move around. That’s the only way
For
Rhyme tacticians
If Mind’s ambitious
Solomon said the people perish when they lack vision
I took that to heart like cardiac tissue
Now I’m paid to play and travel off raps written
They gate-kept their spaces but I still thrash in them
Dominated what they built to pat their backs didn’t I?
Phone Lights flashing
Homie I’m laughing
They used to ignore me. Now they’re on me like Magic
That’s both elder wand after he that owns crashes
And 32 jersey with purple and gold graphics
When he’s all over the post
Now I’m all over they’re posts
“I knew him when he started,” they just fall over to boast
I’m thankful for it all. It’s taking lots longer than most
I just thought I’d be here sooner
Now I’m close
Close was written by Kadesh Flow.
Close was produced by Kadesh Flow.
Kadesh Flow released Close on Fri Jan 31 2020.