Clarity

Selfishly I took all of it
Accelerating competence
I missed out on a lot of it
Reminisce what I never did
And with the music I fell in love
Despite withdrawals and prescription drugs
I guess it's not what I thought it was
It's just me, it was never us
And on my knees I pray to God
Asking was it all my fault
Shattered dreams of us on top
But who's to blame when I cut it off
I swear that you don't sound like you
More likely time's just made its dues
Are you telling me the truth?
Oh my head can be so cruel

And it's all clear to me now
That you didn't wanna be friends
And you just wanted my account
Why did I waste all my time
Trying to make people proud
Maybe I'd never realize
If I didn't quit smoking loud
And even now I can't tell
Who's faking being there for me
And as I keep growing up
That's how it's always gonna be
And if I dropped off the earth
Who would come calling out my name
It's insignificant now
But it still tears at my brain