CHURCHILL DOWNS (REMIX)

[Intro]
Uh
Currently sittin' on a bench in the middle of nowhere just thinkin'
To leave my crib for a bit
Uh, uh

[Verse 1]
I'm writin' this verse from a park bench, drenched in rain
Since I'm not home, I figured I'd address the pain
I never speak on shit 'cause what is there left to gain?
Less of more, more or less, I'm just not meant to change
Rest my brain, people talk 'bout life and friend, no cares about how you feel if there's nothin' for 'em to gain
I spare myself the pain
I'm tired of openin' up when motherfuckers' only response is, "Word" and, "Same"
Sometimes, I go MIA 'cause I need to
Sometimes, I don't feel the need to speak to certain people
When I'm down, my demons do bring out a certain evil
They still never catch me disrespectin' my people
Nobody's looked down on, my brothers my equals
No matter the streams, views, or likes, we all gon' eat too
I gotta be selfish right now, I need to succeed too
I gotta eat so I got enough on my plate to feed you, that's just common sense
Tired of minimum wage, tired of common cents
Wanna be so rich, I lose all of my common sense
Not even look at numbers when I deposit my checks
Spendin' more than you make bring out a different kind of stress
I got my faith in the Lord, I know He got me blessed
When I'm overwhelmed, the universe take the weight off my chest
No matter how bad shit gets, He always knows best
It's kinda crazy how I trust a man that I never met
Crazy we never doubt Him
We put so much in his hands, yet know nothin' about Him
We got so many questions, but we too afraid to out 'em
That bein' said a man can hold this much power
Thoughts trickle through my mind while I'm in the shower
I could've been in a better spot if I did the hours
I could've been in a better spot if I had the knowledge that I have now
When I was younger, I would've did it proper, but that's the thing
Realize patience is key and there's plenty of that in me
Not failin' this, exceed, fame always comes with a fee
Glad I didn't blow up when I was fifteen
I wouldn't of made it to twenty-three, destroyin' my legacy
In a world full of hatred, selfishness, love, and greed
I just want financial freedom and live my life happily
Me blowin' up last year probably wasn't meant to be
Can't believe that I let somebody control my destiny

[Break]
Shit, can't believe that I let somebody control my destiny, like
That's just life though, you live and you learn, same shit
It happens, pack your shit and move on, like
Uh, uh, look

[Verse 2]
I missed out on my last year, my last bitch was insecure
And thought I'd fall in love and find another woman at school
What a fool, I never made a single friend
And, shit if I'm bein' honest, I probably would've but, fuck it, it's cool
I'm glad I didn't 'cause I got me a beautiful woman who holds me down when I'm hurtin', both of us focused on workin'
When we're together, it's perfect, the love is something I worship
I never been more certain, the distance is worth it
My peace when I'm hurtin', speakin' of hurtin'
Y'all fuckers love me when I'm sad, when I'm yellin' and cursin'
I'm finna leave my suicide letter written in cursive
And see what ho try to read it and understand it perfect
Y'all don't know shit about my life after I close the curtain
I'm overworkin' myself, the side of my brain is burnin'
To those who check up on my health, my respect, you earned it
I'm still learning how to be a better person
It's hard when I'm getting asked why I stopped and being bombarded to drop
And like, the only thing that's dropping is me to the floor
All this baggage I carry leave my feet feelin' sore
Career on life support, it's hard to breathe anymore
Y'all don't give me no fuckin' space to excel and explore
I'm broken in four, I wanna put a hole in my door
Mental health poor, I don't really feel reassured
Confidence been running low, my energy's worn
But, that don't mean nothin'
'Cause when I make the comparisons, what I see from it
Y'all kinda treat me like God and to me, it's funny
'Cause y'all ignore my existence unless you need somethin'
You never with me in my darkest times when my tears runnin'
When I try to spread positivity, I don't hear nothin'
Like damn, dawg, I just dropped a banger, that shit thumpin'
Fuck the depression, I'm just tryna have fundin'
I'm tryna make the song of the summer
But, y'all just like me sad 'cause last time I did somethin' upbeat, that shit barely did numbers, what a bummer
Your favorite artist is only your favorite when he suffers, fuck y'all

[Outro]
Your favorite artist is only your favorite when he suffers