Christa Grace (Ode to the Broken Family)

And you are more than just a memory, the source in my identity
The hope in our heredity, be coursing through our legacy
My fortress at the mercy to the forces of the enemy
So listen to the misery I pour into the melody
Christa, something’s wrong with me, I’m losing my autonomy
I feel the devil wandering and ripping out song in me
A godless odyssey and honestly, it’s haunting me
My cardiac is hardening... quality is darkening
A sinner dreads up upon his prison bed
Listen to his heart, it feels as if the rhythm’s dead
Weak like Delilah slipping scissors in his dreads
Redirect the breath of God to you so you could live instead
I thank God you never had to ponder
What it’s like to live a life with an absent father
Accept my offer, access my heart’s wish
Watch every single color pass into scarlet
Now... do me a favor baby, shoot me a wager
And prove to me your confidence in hope ain’t endangered
Loosely insane words, I spew on this paper
Aimed at liberation but ain’t soothing the anger

God, I need you... tell my sister
All I feel is that I miss her
Swings and slides turn rings of fire
My sights on the lights in the sky... now fly!
Christa, watch me fly. Christa, watch me grow
Sister, watch me triumph. Sister... watch me flow
These walls don’t talk but they cry every night
I fight to survive but I die every time
I’m so happy, and I thank the academy
For laughing as I play a man who battles for his sanity
...There isn’t any breath in me left
This is the true definition of identity theft

The sun above my head projects the pain within my shadow
The rain will spur the shame and pave the way in which I travel
Engraved upon my brain’s your name; I need you here now
I take the time to pray so I could feel you near now
Scared to show my heart in fear that people might be sick of me
I know enough to know that you’d accept my inconsistency
Tell me that I’m loved, and break it to me that I’m selfish
Embellished in my misery and only you could help it
Help me in my struggle in controlling my dysfunction
Help me as I recklessly indulge in my destruction
So hold me from this evil, feeble folding to seduction
Lies I put my trust in; I love that I am nothing
Wait, I hate that I am nothing! And if only you were breathing
You’d be my freaking reason for the smile in which I sleep with
I need your reassurance when my hope has been defeated
So tell me I’ll be fine, and I don’t care if you don’t mean it