Chollo Dad

[Thes One:]
Yeah… living in L.A.… the most beautiful women on the planet… if you can get one, god dammit… watch out… messing with a Chicana, you know how it goes… you gotta watch out for pops… now, you know, let me and Double K tell you about that…
[Double K:] Check it…

[Thes One:]
Living in L.A. is a beautiful thing
On hot summer days, Cholas and heines in full swing
Sidewalking with their mothers, headed back to the pad
Where lurks the dangerous demon known as the Chollo dad
A man with a Budweiser can
And a triple dot, faded green tat on his hand
Plus his mother and his daughter's name placed on his arm for life
Vet that Donald forty-years old, he packs a knife and much pride
You see 'em in yards, working on rides
Bumpin Art Laboe, War, or Lakeside
They take an old El Camino, make that shit look clean
I'm scared of Chollo dads, let me tell you what I mean
Once upon a time, I was in love with Carla
High school crush, and then summertime, we start to
Seeing each other, calling on the phone to talk
On a hot August night, we went for a walk
We made it two blocks down the street, then she kissed me
Sucking on my neck, giving me a bad hickey
With my hands up the shirt, putting in work mad
Then she screamed and pulled away, "Oh shit, it's my dad!"
I spun around like, "Hi, sir! I'm Chris. Nice to meet ya!"
"Are you the ese trying to fuck me Carlita? I'll kill you, vato!"
I screamed like a bitch, turned around and ran, seen the .22 in his hand
Yo, she called the next day, like, "No need to be tense
But my dad's an OG who used to be from White Fence."

[Mario (Double K):]
That's right, homes! White Fence, ese!
(White Fence? And I ain't called that girl Carla ever since!)

[Double K:]
One day, I was chilling on Venice and Fairfax
Smoking a big doobie, doing it to the max
On my way to the crib, I was stunned by a pretty young face
With a short frame of another race, so I stepped with the intro
"Baby, can I get your name and numero? I'm KK, the Superbro."
She said her dad's Mario, he's not down with black guys
Talking to his baby girl, he be giving black eyes
I said, "Yo, I understand." She said, "No wait…
He works the late shift, give me a call at eight."
She was digging the rap, gave me a kiss on the cheek
Waiting for 7:30, dude, it felt like a week
8:25 hit, picked up the phone
Got to dialing the digits, hoping ol' girl was home
She picked up, sounded sexy, had me all aroused
Said she was chilling all alone, and I could come to her house
And watch a little BET, but I'm thinking cognac
You know me, the Double Supreme, I'm trying to hit that
So I threw on my Js, sprayed on some smell-good
Threw some trees in a bag and took a stroll through my hood
Close to her pad, I began wondering if
Her old man'd show up and begin to rip
Ay-yo, I shoulda knocked on wood, it wasn't all good
Less than an hour of chilling, the door opened and there it stood

[Mario (Double K):]
Hey, what's up, homes?
(A big, tall Mexican man
With tattoos of his gang and a case in his hand
God damn, yo, he had the devil in his eyes)
What the fuck, homes?
(And enough Brown pride to make Santana cry
All I could do is ask "Why me? The G, Double
Gotta go through all this trouble just to-"

[Mario:] Hey, who the fuck are you homes?
[Double K:] I'm Double K, man…
[Mario:] Hey, I don't know no fucking Double K, ese!
[Double K:] Hey, it's cool, how you doing, sir? I just-
[Mario:] I think you're up in here trying to fuck my baby girl, homes!
[Double K:] I got all my clothes on!
[Mario:] Who do you think I am, homes? I'm an O.G., ese!
[Double K:] Yeah, you're a dad, man. I'm, I'm not-
[Mario:] C'mere, homes. Let me talk to you…
[Double K:] Yo, it's… chill, chill out
[Mario:] C'mere, ese!
[Double K:] Nah, man. It's cool man. I'm not-I'm n- I'm n-
[Mario:] I'm gonna fuck you up righteous, homes!
[Double K:] I ain't trying to fight you, O.G. It's cool, man…
[Mario:] You're nothing!
[Double K:] Hey, I know, man. It's-
[Mario:] You're not good enough for my baby girl, homes!
[Double K:] Ay-yo, yo, just-
[Mario:] She's gonna be down with Pee-Wee for the rest of her life!
[Double K:] Ay-yo, man, fuck Pee-Wee, I'm about to leave you-
[Mario:] Ay, fuck you!
[Double K:] I'm outta here!