Cheggers Plays Cock

[Keith Chegwin imitation] Oh hi, it's Keith Chegwin here, I can't tell ya'... I think you know about my music history with "Cheggers Plays Pop" and I've had records in the charts... going up to Mum before and- oh God, there's- I've just had such a musical career- a lot of people don't know that, I used to be in a band called "Kenny", that got to, er, number 5 in the charts with a song called "The Bump", but I'll tell you what, all that is really passe, because I can't tell ya' the greatest band of all time... forget Queen, forget George Michaеl, forget Paul McCartney: I would like to plеdge my allegiance, as Keith 'Cheggers' Chegwin, to The Scaramanga Six! Oh lads, you really do it for me, it's more like "Cheggars Plays Cock"!