Cheer Up Coach Z

[Chorus: Homestar Runner, (Coach Z)]
Ah-listen to me now!
Cheer up, Coach Z, it doesn't have to be
Creepy and depressing all the time (For real?)
If you learn to say words right, you'll find out people might
Not throw up so much when they talk to you (Oh, that'd be nice!)
Now listen to me, it's almost Decemberween
And there's not a single present beneath your tree
When someone tells you "what's up?", don't tell them about your butt
Or any embarrassing physical problems you might have (I collect those!)
And when you're talking to a pretty girl—on second thought, don't talk to any pretty girls
And you'll find yourself invited, and probably less indicted
And you won't have to spend Decemberween alone!